A few years ago, I had an affair with a good looking techie. Bad luck hit a few years later when that person became married to my sibling. My spouse has always been jealous of this more attractive person, and reminds me of this fact every time we visit. Now this techie is having money problems and is threatening to tell my spouse about our "history" unless I accommodate this person's money needs. My marriage is already in big trouble, because I ran over my spouse's dog, and I forgot our wedding anniversary the same day. What should I do? Build my spouse a new computer with the Core Duo processor, get the new Adobe Photoshop to edit my digital images, or take my spouse to the the next computer technology convention in San Francisco in hopes that all will be forgotten?
Never give in to blackmail. More demands will follow. If your spouse is going to leave you for a dog and a forgotten anniversary, then you are better off alone anyway. Or maybe there are some bigger, less obvious problems in the background? As for which gift would be better.. Pick the one that suits best?
deny everything. no matter what happens, continue to deny. admitting you cheated can never make anything better, and will leave a very negative psychological impact on your spouse. as much as they may appear to think you did it, they will always be hoping to themselves in the back of their mind that nothing did happen. admitting you cheated ruins this psychological phenomenon. trust me, it's true. and don't build a computer or anything like that. do something romantic for christ's sake! and get rid of the evidence too, which includes this thread!
Funny. I saw this exact same issue in Dear Abby a few days ago. Fess up unless you have deep pockets. Then be prepared to live straight.
I can tell you from experience, do as Zep said. DENY, DENY, DENY!!!! lol... well that is unless there are pictures, recorded conversations, letters, videos....any actual physical evidence! Oh yeah Deny any he said she said BS too!
no, you must continue to deny no matter what. the basic psychological phenomenon i described earlier is more powerful than logic and/or reasoning.
May be more powerful, but when you tell the judge..."thats not me in that picture kissing that woman." He is not gonna buy that. And let me tell you! I KNOW he wont buy that bit! lol....
as this is NOT a technical issue --- take your love life and it's problems elsewhere. I'd would tell you what I really thought, but mother has probably already said it at least once -- you ignored her and will likely ignore anything else you hear on this subject --- so again -- take it elsewhere, please!
No matter what you've done, never submit to a black mailer. They have an insatiable apetite. I would take the bull by the horns, I'd tell my spouse. My guess is that if your spouse really cares for you, the whole thing will blow over (perhaps after a few tantrums). What ever you decide to do, just remember one thing : blackmailers never stop blackmailing !!!
