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Are you using 80-wire (ATA-100/133) IDE-cables? A lot of CD/DVD don't like these, and want the old 40-wire cable.
Did you check that the red marking on the cable is, where the pins no. 1 are (mobo AND drive)?
They won't work on your SATA or RAID connectors either, if that's what you are trying.
In Control Panel, go to Add/Remove Hardware, select Remove, tick "Show hidden devices" if you have that, and remove ALL CD and DVD drives, especially the hidden ones.
Then switch off, attach only the CDRW or DVD as MAster on Second IDE (using the end-connectors of the IDE-cable).
Start up, go into BIOS, set second IDE to automatic for both channels, then reboot. Windows should now find the drive.