Enronism

By Laser Eyes
Mar 20, 2002
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  1. "Capitalism": You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

    "Communism": You have two cows. Your neighbours help take care of them and you all share the milk."

    "Enronism": You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. You hire Arthur Andersen to revise your books. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.

    Laser Eyes
  2. boeingfixer

    boeingfixer Newcomer, in training Posts: 1,245

    Yeah thats about it, I have a friend who left anderson because of the writing on the wall and wanted no part in it.
  3. poertner_1274

    poertner_1274 secroF laicepS topShceT Posts: 4,745

    I don't understand how businesses can be so shady. Frankly it just pisses me off what some people or businesses get away with now adays. And there is really nothing you can do about it either. :(
  4. boeingfixer

    boeingfixer Newcomer, in training Posts: 1,245

    I agree with you poertner, They always go with little or no explanation too. Make me sick sometimes.
  5. Spliffmeister

    Spliffmeister TechSpot Paladin Posts: 527

    A JAPANESE CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and
    produce twenty times the milk. You then create irritating cow cartoon images
    called Cowkimon and market them world-wide at a fantastic profit.

    A GERMAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk
    themselves.

    AN ENGLISH CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    Both are mad.

    AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
    You break for lunch.

    A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You count them and learn you have five cows.
    You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
    You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
    You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

    A SWISS CORPORATION
    You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
    You charge others for storing them.

    A HINDU CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You worship them.

    A CHINESE CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You have 300 people milking them.
    You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman
    who reported the numbers.

    A WELSH CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    The younger one is rather attractive

    and just for ggod measure.....
    ==================================================

    We finally know what causes it!

    1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the
    British or Americans.

    2. On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer
    heart attacks than the British or Americans.

    3. The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks
    than the British or Americans.

    4. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer
    heart attacks than the British or Americans.

    Conclusion: Eat and drink what you like. It's speaking English that kills
    you.
  6. boeingfixer

    boeingfixer Newcomer, in training Posts: 1,245

    Now thats a good one Spliffmeister, You made my morning. Now I can go to work and stop wondering about such things in life....have fun. ;)


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