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Fun with Unix shell

By Mictlantecuhtli
Apr 7, 2002
  1. Too bad these don't work with new shells :)
    | Some humorous things to do to a UNIX system:
    |
    | >From the csh (c shell):
    |
    | % make love
    | Make: Don't know how to make love. Stop.
    |
    | % got a light?
    | No match.
    |
    | % sleep with me
    | bad character
    |
    | % man: Why did you get a divorce?
    | man:: Too many arguments.
    |
    | % rm God
    | rm: God nonexistent
    |
    | % make 'heads or tails of all this'
    | Make: Don't know how to make heads or tails of all this. Stop.
    |
    | % make sense
    | Make: Don't know how to make sense. Stop.
    |
    | % make mistake
    | Make: Don't know how to make mistake. Stop.
    |
    | % make bottle.open
    | Make: Don't know how to make bottle.open. Stop.
    |
    | % \(-
    | (-: Command not found.
    |
    | % rm -i God
    | rm: remove God? y
    | % ls God
    | God not found
    | % make light
    | Make: Don't know how to make light. Stop.
    |
    | % date me
    | You are not superuser: date not set
    | Thu Aug 25 15:52:30 PDT 1988
    |
    | % man rear
    | No manual entry for rear.
    |
    | % If I had a ) for every dollar Reagan spent, what would I have?
    | Too many )'s.
    |
    | % * How would you describe George Bush
    | *: Ambiguous.
    |
    | % %Vice-President
    | %Vice-President: No such job.
    |
    | % ls Meese-Ethics
    | Meese-Ethics not found
    |
    | % "How would you rate Reagan's senility?
    | Unmatched ".
    |
    | % [Where is Jimmy Hoffa?
    | Missing ].
    |
    | % ^How did the^sex change operation go?
    | Modifier failed.
    |
    | % cp /dev/null sex;chmod 000 sex
    | % more sex
    | sex: Permission denied
    | % mv sex show
    | % strip show
    | strip: show: Permission denied
    |
    | % who is my match?
    | No match.
    |
    | % set i="Democratic_Platform";mkdir $i;chmod 000 $i;ls $i
    | Democratic_Platform unreadable
    |
    | % awk "Polly, the ship is sinking"
    | awk: syntax error near line 1
    | awk: bailing out near line
    |
    | % %blow
    | %blow: No such job.
    |
    | % 'thou shalt not commit adultery'
    | thou shalt not commit adultery: Command not found.
    |
    | And from the bourne shell (sh):
    |
    | $ drink < bottle;opener
    | bottle: cannot open
    | opener: not found
    |
    | $ test my argument
    | test: too many arguments
    |
    | $ "Amelia Earhart"
    | Amelia Earhart: not found
    |
    | $ PATH=pretending! /usr/ucb/which sense
    | no sense in pretending!
    |
    | $ man -kisses dog
    | dog: nothing appropriate
    |
    | $ mkdir "Yellow Pages";fiYellow Pages
    | $ mkdir matter;cat > matter
    | matter: cannot create
    |
    | $ lost
    | lost: not found
    |
    | $ found
    | found: not found
    |
    | $ i=Hoffa ;>$i ;$i ;rm $i ;rm $i
    | Hoffa: cannot execute
    | rm: Hoffa nonexistent
    |
    | The following are ones that I can't get to work on my BSD 4.3, so I suppose
    | that they are stuff from ATT SysV or some other such:
    |
    | % strip bra
    | bra: Cannot open
    |
    | % sccs what bottle
    | can't open bottle (26)
    |
    | $ cat "door: paws too slippery"
    | can't open door: paws too slippery
    |
    | $ cat food_in_tin_cans
    | cat: can't open food_in_tin_cans
     
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