The Jack Schitt story

By tomrca
Jun 9, 2006
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  1. The Jack Schitt story

    For some time many of us have
    wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We
    find ourselves at a loss when someone
    says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!"
    Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts,
    you can now respond in an intellectual way.

    Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt.
    Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married
    O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc.
    They had one son, Jack.

    In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt.
    The deeply religious couple produced
    six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt,
    Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins
    Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her
    parents' objections, Deap Schitt married
    Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.

    After being married 15 years, Jack and
    Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later
    married Ted Sherlock, and, because her
    kids were living with them, she wanted to
    keep her previous name. She was then known
    as Noe Schitt Sherlock.

    Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt,
    and they produced a son with a rather
    nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt.
    Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt
    and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout
    childhood and subsequently married the
    Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.
    The wedding announcement in the newspaper
    announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.

    The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg,
    Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal
    son, left home to tour the world. He recently
    returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa

    Now, when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt,"
    you can correct them.
  2. CrossFire851

    CrossFire851 TS Rookie Posts: 766

    loL, aw that is funny.
  3. altheman

    altheman TS Rookie Posts: 425

    :haha: :haha: very funny
  4. Finchy

    Finchy TS Rookie Posts: 353

    Had me laughing for ages :haha: :haha: :haha:
    A masterpiece :grinthumb
  5. Ididmyc600

    Ididmyc600 TechSpot Chancellor Posts: 1,415


    Must be new to the Internet, that did the rounds back in the days of the dial up modem...

    Still worth reading though...

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