I am not using XP right now , but if memory serves , you right click on the drive >Properties> deselect " allow Windows to write to this drive" Something like that.
You can associate your pic files with the program you prefer by putting a check mark in the "Always use this program for these files" Also in properties page of the software you use or right click the file itself.
There might also be a preference/options page for settings of the Card reader to give you better control.