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I hate my life..

By leadpill924 · 29 replies
Jan 8, 2008
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  1. First of all, I'm not an emo. I just don't like the way I live life, what I do with my time, and I'm disappointed with my family. I really don't like my life, I play video games all day, don't hang out with people from school, maybe 1 or 2 kids, but mainly 3 kids from my old school, also in 8th grade. I don't know what kids think of me, probably that I'm anti social. I do talk to lots of people, but hardly any girls, just chat a bit with some people that I sit next to. I probably seem like a loser for not saying much. I have never had a girlfriend either, not even close, I doubt that I will ever have one because I'm too much of a ***** to ask a girl out. I consider myself ugly, but never asked anyone, so that makes me lose a lot of courage. My family also disappoints me sometimes. Since my parents are divorced, my dad got married, and my moms boyfriend moved in with us. I don't really like him, even though he is a very nice guy and all, but I just don't like him. I don't know why at all, it's just hard getting used to. My mom makes up stupid reasons for me to not do things, and is very overprotective. My brother couldn't watch Futurama one time, because it was on Comedy Central. Any ideas to help make my life more bearable?

    One of my bullies is just a hideous annoying son of a *****, whom I hope dies, he has no friends, and I'm glad. The other isn't much of a bully, just a mental kid, no joke, he has ADD, he doesn't do much except close my locker, he doesn't know when to stop. What should I do about them? Please tell me, I need help.

    Wow, my depression is really starting to grow. I was at the store with my mom, and all of a sudden I just feel horrible on the inside. I was in an average mood at first, and then just horrible for no reason.
  2. eazy_duz_em

    eazy_duz_em TS Rookie Posts: 102

    you should try socializing and try to make friends mate.
    you should start by not playing games, and try to hang out with your lads.
    oh...and the part with the girl: i think everybody's like at first time...at least i was, but came over it simply by talking to girls and people i don't know like talking to my friends.
    You'll get over it, cheer up!
  3. leadpill924

    leadpill924 Banned Topic Starter Posts: 119

    it's been going on for a week, i was in the store and i felt sad for no reason. i dont want to eat either.
  4. Condor

    Condor TS Maniac Posts: 388

  5. cfitzarl

    cfitzarl TechSpot Chancellor Posts: 1,975   +9

    Well, I was in your shoes as well....I had a horrible depression (ended up being hospitalized -.-). All I can say is that you're not the only one :) . If you need to talk at all, just send me a pm or add me via xfire (cfitzarl) :) .
  6. Boogityboo04

    Boogityboo04 TS Rookie Posts: 302

    Same here, depression is really a widespread problem and you just need to remember you aren't alone. I was awkward all through school but got over it fine :)
  7. captaincranky

    captaincranky TechSpot Addict Posts: 12,541   +2,326

    The Computer, or computer friends can't always give you the help you need.

    They can help I suppose, but the cyberworld is so abstract, and the problems you face are very real, and exist in a real world. I suggest you put more effort into confronting and solving these issue within that real world.To be an adolescent is to be insecure and self conscious we all have gone through it. This is an old saw but it's so very,very true. "A boy chases a girl until she catches him". What it means is this she always has the fnal say in who she dates, so go about dating the smart way and give up on the ones you're checking out, and give your attention to the girls who are checking you out.
    You can solve some of your issues at home by not being there so much, and being your own man. This isn't running away it's just your first solo flights, getting you ready to actually be on your own.
    Be very careful where you try to find comfort. Your situation a great many times leads to taking up with the wrong people, who are doing the wrong things
    Other than that, I really would get involved with your school counselor, school activities, maybe a part time job. Talk to a real therapist in the real world.
    You really may not be able to overcome your issues on line, In some ways it's just another way of hiding.
  8. Route44

    Route44 TechSpot Ambassador Posts: 11,979   +71

    What cfitzarl and Boogityboo04 said; I can identify with you as well. Depression is a very difficult issue to deal with and it saps the strength out of us such as not eating nor wanting to eat. You can often feel very alone, misunderstood, and highly critical about oneself.

    The fact that there are bullies in the picture just makes the issues worse.

    One good definition of depression is frozen rage (it isn't the only definition, but it is a good one).

    I would say your video game play is one way to medicate against the pain.

    Try out this link: http://www.med.nyu.edu/psych/screens/depres.html
  9. ShipMaster

    ShipMaster TS Rookie Posts: 70

    I can definitely feel what you are saying. I have experienced the same stuff before. I really don't have any advise except for go out and do something that kids in your school do. Play sports maybe.
  10. Grafficks

    Grafficks TS Rookie Posts: 302

    Keep your chin up. You're not alone. I too have been through traumatic depressions. Just don't let misery take over you. Be strong and determined. Convince yourself that you can pull through this.
    Maybe join some school clubs, they provide socializing opportunities that help relieve the loneliness.
  11. TimeParadoX

    TimeParadoX TS Rookie Posts: 2,273

    Ahh this post made me laugh so much, since this is being a serious thread and he points out trying to play a game instead :haha:

    Anyways, You shouldn't care what people think, I personally could give a **** what people say about me... The reason is because I know i'm going to be successful and I'm going to laugh at their stupid, spoiled, ugly faces when I'm rich and they're still working on the Corner selling their body just to make their apartment's rent.
  12. Samstoned

    Samstoned TechSpot Paladin Posts: 1,018

    captaincranky kinda hit it

    :blackeye: get a job
    stop crying sshi look at the kids system specs
    poor kid blah
    wake up ,I your guardian I'd kick you in the seat of your pants

    what are the teaching kids in school these days
  13. Condor

    Condor TS Maniac Posts: 388

    haha i know and i'm glad you're happy just by reading it, i too are laughing now too, my suggestions were hybrid - part serious part humor.. i guess : P

    so CHOOSE wisely OP.

    side note: Samstoned inspired me to write this - OP you should be happy with your new dad, since hes treating you nice. Your mom break up with your old dad and she must had her reasons.

    do tell us why through ^.^ if you know what really happening between the two beside hating yourself.

    :carebear stare:
  14. SNGX1275

    SNGX1275 TS Forces Special Posts: 10,729   +409

    LOL. I haven't heard that in 15-20 years.
  15. mopar man

    mopar man TechSpot Ambassador Posts: 1,379

    Ok, I have never been depressed in my life. Sure, I have been mad enough to break someones neck, but it all goes away in 5 seconds. I (this is me) tend to be in the same mood everyone else is in. Your mad, then I get mad. You may be happy, and that makes me happy. I lost my mom when I was 4, and don't take me wrong, I loved her, and still do, but I have gotten to the point to where the only thing that bothers me is when someone knowingly says something very stupid, such as "Your mom" knowing she is dead, then I tend to go off.

    You really shouldn't be upset that your mom is overprotective. That is the way my dad is, and I fully understand. Look at it like this: Why would she be overprotective? I doubt she is trying to hold you prisoner. I think it may be that she loves you.

    If your parents got divorced, as previously stated, they had their reasons. If you know your step-dad is a good guy, then it is good. All you need to do is try your best to like him. Ask him to do something with you that you will both enjoy. If you like fishing, and he too enjoys it, see if you can go fishing. If Illinois is a state that isn't really... "set up" for fishing, then find something like a comedy to go watch. Also, if you have a hunch he is... well... going to hurt someone or something, then just watch him. Have a way setting somewhere close to you at night that you can use if he did do something wrong. DON'T TAKE THAT THE WRONG WAY, I do not want you to hurt anybody, if you do see what I am saying. In other words, be paranoid if he gives you the feeling like its some murderer staring back at you. Just don't be all panicy and call 911 saying your step-dad is about to kill you, lol.

    Your bullies, exactly what do they do (aside from just bug you)? Do they actually get physical, or just like knock your books out from your hands, etc?

    This is what I would do, so if you don't like any advice, I advise you NOT to go through with it.

    If he is getting physical, the next time he tries to do something, then stand up to him. There are 2 ways to do this, there is a) Let him know that you are tired of it, and if you have to you will fight him, or b) just nark on him. Bullying is illegal I believe. The only way this could hurt you is if everyone starts disliking you for being a nark. If he is just bugging you, I would ask him what his problem is, and go the steps a and b. :p

    The mental kid will probably stop if you jsut start mimiking him. Every time he opens his locker, shut it.

    I hope you start doing better, and one thing to keep in mind, is not to hurt anybody, or yourself.
  16. DustynJanzen

    DustynJanzen TS Rookie

    Just keep looking up!
    Things with your parents will get better...
    and school is what you make it.
    I remember I went through an anti-social stage...
    (grade 11)

    I look back and think, wow...
    "Not sure what I was so angry about...but if I could go back and do it again...I'd try my best to enjoy that year"

    Everyone wants to be liked! This includes other people in your class...
    even that bully!

    I'd suggest being friendly to the bully. Say hi to him...don't avoid him.
    Keep doing it...and watch...
    You say he has no friends ?
    He'll be the guy defending you if anyone gives you a hard time.

    Just be friendly...
    and take care of yourself (physically)

    I'm sure you're not ugly...
    But no matter what you look like...
    Girls like guys who take care of themselves...
    shower - brush your teeth - do your hair...
    Wear nice clothes (or atleast clean ones)

    Be friendly to all... and take more risks.

    (good risks...like talking with people)

    If you're not sure how to talk to someone ...or get them to like you ...it's easy!!!

    Just keep asking them questions about them.
    People LOVE to talk about themselves.
    It's a great ice breaker.

    Good luck buddy.
  17. yyiiyyii

    yyiiyyii TS Rookie Posts: 105

    Pray to GOD and ask him to help you enjoy your life.

    Also get some fun hobbies, also maybe goto the local animal shelter and get a dog, they are so full of love they can cheer you up
  18. ShipMaster

    ShipMaster TS Rookie Posts: 70

    Condor I find you lack of help disturbing.
  19. I play video games and I'm married and have had a quite a few girlfriends in the past, some of which (albeit not many) played videogames. Don't change your lifestyle just to suit a peer group. Find real friends that like the same things you do. Anything is good in moderation, if you're stuck in front of games all day long and hardly getting out then that's the same as being stuck in front of the TV all day - not healthy.

    You're a teenager right? Don't worry about it, just believe in yourself more and don't worry about what others think. If you lose respect for yourself no one else will respect you. Keep your chin up.

    Maybe it's not dislike? Are you confusing dislike with resentment? It may be just a personality clash, give it time and try to be open minded and tolerant.

    Break his nose. Don't hope for him to die, just learn not to care what happens to people that are not important to you. Don't put them on a pedestal by having any kind of emotion towards them.
    Snap out of it, think about your life and think about what is causing you the most grief, then take steps to address this. No teenage boy exactly enjoys going shopping with their mom anyway.
  20. kimsland

    kimsland Ex-TechSpotter Posts: 14,524

    Maybe leadpill924 was just trying to find out how many relate to his issues.
    If so, well you got some crazy answers.

    As an older person, not 18 wiz kid, like most tech specialists. I feel you need to go to your Mom first. (The one who over protects you)
    She knows you outside of school, she even got married/divorced and then got another man, I'd say she knows some stuff you don't.

    Lets face it most kids (boys I mean) are *****s, good for socializing with, but not the real in depth stuff. You need your mom, just like when it was just you and her.
    More mom time, before it's lonely old (young) you

    If I went back in time, with all my knowledge, I wouldn't get pissed with the fellers again (done it already) And girls, who cares, they're not your wife, it's just girlfriends for a few fleeting weeks/months (usually).
    I'd go straight up to Mom and Dad (sorry, have to say what I'd do) and say, hey before we all go our seperate ways, and Dad dies, and Mom goes mad (seems to be normal) lets go out and have fun as a family again.

    Life's short enough already, enjoy today not tomorrow.
    Note: this can be the other way around to; Parents spend time with your kids.
  21. AlbertLionheart

    AlbertLionheart TechSpot Chancellor Posts: 2,026

    Get yourself a daylight lamp - sounds to me as if you are (all?) suffering from a lack of natural light. In Finland it turns them all to drink! Lovely people otherwise.
    Given the filthy weather outside my windows today, we have what the Irish call a 'High Stool Day' - if you are old enough get into a bar and stay there.
  22. Cinders

    Cinders TechSpot Chancellor Posts: 872   +12

    Man you sound clinically depressed. I’d mention that to your mother and ask for help. Go to your doctor and describe exactly what you have told us. He/She will probably prescribe medicine for you. I take Effexor XR to lighten my symptoms, and it does a good job of making the lows less intense and of shorter duration. Depression is hard to beat, but it is beatable. You can start by exercising everyday for at least thirty minutes. Throw yourself into school, and do your very best to learn everything that you can. Education will be of great benefit to you later in life and will help improve your self image. Become a social butterfly and be friendly with as many people as possible. You are going to need friends. Girls are easy when you understand that all they want from you is your soul. I’m kidding. They want to be your friend and then later they’ll want your soul.

    When I was your age I thought everybody was looking at me, and they weren’t. I thought I was fat, and I wasn’t. I thought I was ugly, and I wasn’t. We all have the same insecurities; you’re just feeling them very intensely right now making them seem worse than they really are.
  23. wanna be geek

    wanna be geek TS Rookie Posts: 80

    You know what Caravel, You are allright... Not to say the other posts here were not considerate and an attempt to be helpful- I just sense something in you... Right on.
  24. Rick

    Rick TechSpot Staff Posts: 4,572   +65

    I didn't read what others had to say, BUT...

    Depression is a common problem. When you feel bad, you know it. I've been there so here's my take.

    Bluntly, if you want to surmount this difficult time in your life, psychotherapy works. You brain is always altering itself. The more you do something, you more your brain expects it. It actually 'reconfigures' itself to make you behave in such a manner based on how you live your life.

    To beat it, you have to think differently. You need to understand you really can do anything you want, including be happy. That positive thinking - as hard as it may be to you - will change the chemistry in your brain over the course of weeks, months and even years. Try to see the good in things because there's almost always something worth appreciating in even the most heinous situations. Also, understand that you are who you are - some people only have a couple of friends - that's fine! We're social animals so our social status means a lot to us, but some personality types work best alone. You are probably one of those people. Just because everyone else has 10938409834 friends, doesn't mean you need to. And if you don't like your crowd now, things will change once you start working etc...

    For some personality types, this is a terrible crutch. I'm one of them. Eventually, you play games SO much that very little else really satisfies you. When you aren't playing, you probably become sad and irritable and you probably have a difficult time stopping when you want to. It's not an addiction, necessarily, because the effects wear off without permanent harm, but the brain treats it simliarly to drugs. It's all about that 'routine' you get in. Your brain rewards you by giving you chemicals that approve of your actions while you play games. You 'feel good' in a sense. Your brain expects you to play games and rewards itself every time you dive into that alternate universe. You should set (reasonable) rules for your gaming habits and (reasonable) consequences if you don't follow them. The goal is to cut down the amount of gaming you do and work on making your life better during that time. Look into furthering your education, learn how to do something with your computer, hang out with one of your friends etc...

    And you know, life is hard. It's harder for some people than others, but making and keeping relationships, friendships and social status is difficult. Don't mistake difficulty for impossibility. You ARE capable of these things!

    Something else to consider is your unstable. You are young. Your brain doesn't fully develop until your mid 20's. If you're still depressed by then, you definitely need help. But for now, it sounds mostly horomonal and situational... not I-have-a-problem-so-bad-that-it-needs-drugs depression.
  25. nismo91

    nismo91 TS Evangelist Posts: 916   +24

    hmm... im not an advanced guru here..., but hey., im also depressed like you few years back....

    it goes like i'm sent oversea to do some study and of course., after a month of start, im goes really depressed like you... or maybe worse...

    so i figure it out that when it comes to depression., you're not alone... right now i have one very close male cousin who is depressed and now going mad, uncontrollable, and even his parents were so much disappointed with him...

    i may suggest that do not be the next victim of it....
    one more., never consider yourself as ugly, or too beautiful or so ever...
    remember that theres too much people who are uglier than you.
    that also goes for those who are better than you... we are just in between.... so there's nothing to be ashame for... my last suggestion is try to find couple of friends., no matter male or female... and make numbers of friends until you could find one who is good for you...

    Good Luck.., hope you get well soon... :D

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