Are you using the recovery discs that came with the computer or are you using a 'regular' Windows XP install CD? Any idea if the drive is SATA or IDE?
The reason I ask is, assuming your drive actually works in the laptop (as it should), its possible that Windows XP needs you to press F6 at the very beginning of setup to install 3rd party SCSI/RAID drivers. But that depends on whether or not your laptop has a SATA drive interface. Some BIOSes have SATA > IDE emulation which will eliminate this step. The recovery discs that come with the laptop (if there are any)
should have the SATA driver slipstreamed into the disc, making this step unnecessary as well.
when i go into bios it says that it has been disabled
That's pretty weird. I'm assuming there's no way to enable it, like auto detect or whatever other options there may be? Oh, if the drive is SATA, it may show up elsewhere in the BIOS... Not under the IDE drives listed. So that's something to consider.
If you have it installed and it won't detect it, there's not much else you can do. Your new drive should work straight out of the box. It
could be a compatability issue between that certain model of drive and laptop (Unusual, but not rare) and it is certainly possible that your new drive has failed (not uncommon), but it should work otherwise.