My Microsoft Conspiracy Theory.

By erwin1978
Mar 28, 2002
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  1. My conspiracy theory.

    I have found the one ring that will rule all.

    Over the last couple of years I've harnessed the long forsought power to see through facades that companies like Microsoft create in front of unknowing, huddled masses of newbies. Many assume Microsoft as a doer of good, but look deeper and you'll find there is a darker, evil, maniacal side to Microsoft's seemingly innocent updates. Microsoft is not the only one; for there are many more money-grabbin' corporations whose plot to take your money, I have foiled.

    Many of you are scratching your heads right now and wondering what am I talking about. I am the chosen one and I believe the truth must be heard before it is too late. What I am about to reveal is shocking to the utmost power of two.

    For years I have enjoyed using win95 and foolish of me to think my prayers have been answered. I thought this was the ultimate OS of the future. But then, in a dark lair at Redmond, Washington, lay Microsoft, planning its next attack. One by one it released win2000, and then, winXP. (winME is not really an OS). One by one the huddled masses of newbies succumbed to buying these upgrade OS. Soon I was the only one in the world using win95.

    Years passed and surprisingly enough Microsoft continued to release updates for my dying win95. Little did I know, behind each updates was a code that crippled my OS bit-by-bit until at last I couldn't stand using win95 any longer; I was forced to switch to win98. Microsoft's darkness got to me.

    Do you get what I'm saying?
  2. boeingfixer

    boeingfixer Newcomer, in training Posts: 1,245

    Ahhhhh, no.
  3. Vehementi

    Vehementi TechSpot Paladin Posts: 3,199

    Dude, go Linux!

    And then get a life :haha:
    I'm kidding, really...:rolleyes:
  4. Phantasm66

    Phantasm66 Newcomer, in training Posts: 6,504

    "Bill Gates Must Die!" - Emperor Palpatine...

    My man, you need linux and a girlfriend..... ;)

    /dev/girlfriend > medication &
  5. Phantasm66

    Phantasm66 Newcomer, in training Posts: 6,504

    I've just made, at this early hour in the morning, my fifth attempt at reading your post and trying to understand what the heck you are talking about...

    I am still none the wiser.... :confused:
  6. ScarletHippo

    ScarletHippo Newcomer, in training Posts: 20

    so yours saying that microsoft updates are actually designed to kill old OSs so that ppl are forced upgrade? Sounds interesting. *Que x-files music* I wouldnt put it past microsoft...

    But if you want a really freaky conspiracy. check this out

    Oh yeah, erwin1978, Nice sig. Radical Edward rulez :grinthumb
  7. erwin1978

    erwin1978 TechSpot Maniac Topic Starter Posts: 327

    YOU Da MAN. That's exactly what I'm talking about. I'm not saying Microsoft is the only one because there are others. My keen sense of reading between lines have noticed that once a new retail product/service that's supposed to replace the previous iteration has been released, all of a sudden the old version starts acting up.
  8. uncleel

    uncleel Newcomer, in training Posts: 1,145

    Do you get what I'm saying?

    No, I don't either. Technology never stands still. I still know people who claim MS Dos, Win3.1, OS2, were the most stable. What Win95 did was bring these simplicity of using a computer to the IBM PC clones, that previously only Apple users had enjoyed. Win95 is crash prone, but I still have it on a couple machines w/ old componets due to driver issues.

    Conspiracy Theories never make any sense, & are usually based on subjective evidence, a fake phony "expert", or some kind of "eyewitness" account. Science (logic) always prevails in these matters.
  9. Phantasm66

    Phantasm66 Newcomer, in training Posts: 6,504


    Perhaps you'd care to explain the nature of your elitism to the 3DS membership???

    In my opinion, the truly great are also the most truly humble...

    So.... What you are saying is that..... you are some kind of megacorporation battling superhero??? Which one are you? Superman? Wolverine? Batgirl??? Get a hold of yourself before you wind up doing something silly.

    ;)

    You haven't foiled anything. You have a poorly articulated rant, nothing more. Don't pretend you are something that you are not.

    An active imagination is one thing but don't let it get the better of you.
  10. svtcobra

    svtcobra TechSpot Paladin Posts: 875

    Im with ya on this one Phantasm..I took a quick read of it last night a 2 a.m. and it was all a blur. Today, it still is..
  11. Ronin Tetsuro

    Ronin Tetsuro Newcomer, in training Posts: 20

    Okay....

    I've read it and understood it, but it is one of the more egotistical rants I've read. And the very nature of technology is progression to newer and better. Everyone has their opinions on whats good and what isn't for use on their computers. But somehow I get an image of this guy curled up in front of his 486 with a blanket, waiting for the sky to fall on him.

    But I do understand his theory....
  12. svtcobra

    svtcobra TechSpot Paladin Posts: 875

    Re: Okay....

    All nestled up, warm and cozy, with his 486 chugging away..Alright Im done. That was quite funny Ronin.
  13. Phantasm66

    Phantasm66 Newcomer, in training Posts: 6,504

    I see (since I have noticed you active on the forums since) you have chosen to decline....

    Any time you want to test that "elite" intellect of yours, I will be waiting for you..... :evil:
     
  14. ToRN

    ToRN Newcomer, in training Posts: 189

    There, Phantasm, you've done it. You scared the guy...
  15. Phantasm66

    Phantasm66 Newcomer, in training Posts: 6,504

    Good :) ;) :evil:
  16. erwin1978

    erwin1978 TechSpot Maniac Topic Starter Posts: 327

    It is I once again. I was waiting for the consensus as to what you all think of my new ring. I didn't expect I would be ridiculed to the power of three without mercy; especially by Phantasm66. :eek:

    Note: It could be your age or it could be your locale, but most of you took what I said too seriously to the bone. This is the first forum that doesn't see the humor in me. :( That's a shocker! I'll be hearing from Phantasm66 about my humor no doubt. I still think I'm funny.

    Now back to my topic: My name is Froto. Although I wear a blanky over me, I do not wait for the sky to fall on me. It does get cold during the night.

    I have a new quote: "To accept as it is is linear, but to find an alternative is knowledge." NOW that is deep; don't you think?
  17. uncleel

    uncleel Newcomer, in training Posts: 1,145

    Truthfully...I think it's rather n00biesque.
  18. boeingfixer

    boeingfixer Newcomer, in training Posts: 1,245

    Or an over active imagination.

    I'm sorry gang, I still don't get him. Are you a model builder too ?
  19. Phantasm66

    Phantasm66 Newcomer, in training Posts: 6,504

    I think you are an *****.....

    I am not sure exactly what you mean. And I see little funny here. There is plenty making me laugh at the moment, but your post is not something that is......

    Lets talk about how you are so "gifted".....
  20. Phantasm66

    Phantasm66 Newcomer, in training Posts: 6,504


    Don't read it!!!! Its' poorly expressed rant wants your soul :evil: .....

    It says: join the ranks of the tin foil microwave covering freaks if you dare.....
  21. Rick

    Rick TechSpot Staff Posts: 6,304   +52 Staff Member

    I've often considered the principle of jokes requiring a punch-line. There is no punch line in your joke.

    It's okay though, no one here hates you or anything because you posted something we didn't totally get. People just thought you were a loon . Hehe! ;) But since you were not serious, then you might not be so weird afterall.

    Anyway, welcome to 3DS.
  22. uncleel

    uncleel Newcomer, in training Posts: 1,145

    Re: Do you get what I'm saying?

    Conspiracy theorist sound like they're paranoid, & refer to some weird propaganda as fact.

    These conspiracy theorist that come up with bogus ideas on why we never went to the moon because of a photo of a U.S. Flag flying in the vacuum of space. Never thinking that the US flags planted on the moon were made nylon and were rigged with a wire along the top and/or bottom so that they looked like they were "waving."
    http://www.rsis.com/nasa/hc1142.htm

    This flawed logic process is called a false assumption.
    An example of a false assumption is:
    John is a boy.
    John has blue eyes.
    All boys have blue eyes.

    Their delusions are faulty interpretations of reality that cannot be shaken despite clear evidence to the contrary.
  23. LNCPapa

    LNCPapa TS Special Forces Posts: 4,201   +229

    I must be a loon too! I read it and found it quite comical. You talk like Ed though, erwin. Sorry guys, I'm not with you on this one - I enjoyed his post especially when it's been so slow around here lately.

    LNCPapa
  24. Phantasm66

    Phantasm66 Newcomer, in training Posts: 6,504

    Shame on you! You should know better than to encourage madness in the sick. These people need help and encouragement in their imaginary world does little to help them......
  25. uncleel

    uncleel Newcomer, in training Posts: 1,145

    ho ho, he he, ha ha,


    Remember when you ran away and
    I got on my knees and begged you
    Not to leave because I'd go berserk?
    Well,You left me anyhow and then the
    Days got worse and worse and now you
    See I've gone completely out of my mind.
    And,

    They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa.
    They're coming to take me away, ho ho, he he, ha ha,
    To the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time
    And I'll be happy to see those nice young
    Men in their clean white coats and
    They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!

    You thought it was a joke and so you
    Laughed, you laughed!
    When I had said that losing you would make me flip my lid - right?
    You know you laughed, I heard you laugh,
    You laughed, you laughed and laughed, and then you
    Left, but now you know I'm utterly mad.
    And,

    They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa.
    They're coming to take me away, ho ho, he he , ha ha,
    To the happy home with trees and flowers and chirping birds
    And basket weavers who sit and smile
    And twiddle their thumbs and toes
    And they're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!

    I cooked your food, I cleaned your house
    And this is how you pay me back
    For all my kind, unselfish loving deeds? Huh?
    Well, you just wait--they'll find you yet
    And when they do they'll put you in the
    ASPCA you mangy mutt!
    And,

    They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa.
    They're coming to take me away, ho ho, he he, ha ha,
    To the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time
    And I'll be happy to see those nice young
    Men in their clean white coats and

    They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!
    To the happy home with trees and flowers and chirping birds
    And basket weavers who sit and smile
    And twiddle their thumbs and toes
    And they're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!
    To the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time
    And I'll be happy to see those nice young
    Men in their clean white coats and
    They're coming to take me away!

    * author, Jerry Samuels


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