Yahoo is being renamed to... Altaba

Scorpus

Scorpus

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After Verizon completes its $4.8 billion acquisition of Yahoo's key assets, the remainder of the company will be renamed to "Altaba", as discovered in a recent SEC filing. Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer and several other key members will be resigning from Yahoo's board at the same time.

Update: If this doesn't make much sense, here's a follow-up explanation of why Yahoo is renaming itself and selling the "Yahoo" assets, which is counterintuitive, but the most convenient way to do this transaction due to taxes.

Altaba's main asset moving forward will be their 15% stake in Chinese e-commerce giant Alibaba; a stake that's more valuable than the internet business Yahoo is selling to Verizon. The name Altaba seems to be a reference to Alibaba, and will update the company's image to more closely reflect their remaining business.

Altaba will also retain a 35.5% stake in Yahoo Japan, which is a joint venture between the company formally known as Yahoo and SoftBank. 

The SEC filing revealed that CEO Marissa Mayer, along with cofounder David Filo, current chairman Maynard Webb, and three other members of Yahoo's current board, will resign from the board following the closure of the Verizon deal. Altaba's new board will have just five members, all of which are current members of Yahoo's larger 11-person board, including Eric Brandt as the new chairman.

It's not entirely clear if the deal between Verizon and Yahoo will actually go through. Two massive security breaches in recent months have resulted in more than a billion compromised Yahoo accounts, and there are suggestions that Verizon may be leveraging this issue to either lower the acquisition price, or pull out of the deal altogether.

If the deal does go through, Verizon will own Yahoo's search business, Yahoo Mail, Tumblr, Flickr, and several other consumer internet services.

Permalink to story.

https://www.techspot.com/news/67713-yahoo-renamed-altaba.html

 
The Verizon deal will keep the Yahoo name alive. This is why after the deal if it goes through, the rest of the company will be changing names.
 
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Sounds like mumbo jumble coming off the lips.
That makes right up Big Red's alley...
 
A **** name being replaced by an even shittier name. Who thought that was a good idea?
 
A bunch of yahoos got together and tried to be original, but it turned out to be as usual.
 
mcborge said:
How do these companies come up with these names... Do they stick a microphone in front of a babbling baby.
Click to expand...

In short, it's the Kodak effect. The name Kodak means nothing, and that's the point. It's a word that had never before been used in the English lexicon, and thus couldn't be confused with anything else. In the world of Google, this has a very real, material effect. That's why every new startup tries to think up some zany new phantasmagorical name - Flickr, Tumblr, Zazzle etc. There's even a few Web 2.0 name generators that basically replicate this exact concept.

Altaba is still pretty dumb though... Lal.
 
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Radical said:
In short, it's the Kodak effect. The name Kodak means nothing, and that's the point. It's a word that had never before been used in the English lexicon, and thus couldn't be confused with anything else. In the world of Google, this has a very real, material effect. That's why every new startup tries to think up some zany new phantasmagorical name - Flickr, Tumblr, Zazzle etc. There's even a few Web 2.0 name generators that basically replicate this exact concept.

Altaba is still pretty dumb though... Lal.
Click to expand...
It sounds like a keyboard shortcut ALT+TAB+A
 
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Lol... altaba what? there must be an unwritten rule not to use unknown names for American companies...

if by chance I found tons of cash money and Microsoft is for sale, I will buy and rename it Microhard... :)
 
Oh goodie! Now to get to my old SBCGLOBAL email,
instead of mail.yahoo.com, I have to go to mail.altaba.com
or mail.yahoo.altaba.com? LOL.
 
Yahoo is not changing its name. The internet service being sold to Verizon is worth under $5B and will be still be called Yahoo. While the remainder (mainly business assets, including its small stake in Alibaba) is worth over $30B and will change its name to Altaba. It is also likely that Marissa Mayer will stay on as the CEO of the Verizon-owned Yahoo. She just has to step down from the new Altaba board as they are reducing the board size.
 
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"Altaba"? actually is a GREAT name, since it is close to the Yiddish, "alta buba" meaning a very old grandmother.

Yahoo used to be the greatest name in the internet, but could not seem to keep up with Google or even Micro$lop "Hotmail". I think the name "alta bubba" is definitely apropos for Yahoo.
 
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Uncle Al said:
Same old lipstick .... new pig! Mind you I said new, but not improved .......
Click to expand...
Just to stimulate discussion, I'm going to propose it's the same pig, with the same lipstick, which will now answer to another nonsense name. Although, if they had the slightest reverence for the past, they would have called the pig, "Zippy-De-Do-Dah", the first rime around. At least there's a popular song to go along with that moniker, instead of just having some jacka** pretending to be a cowboy yelling "Ya-hoo". Pfft, phooey.

BTW, "alta" means "high" in Spanish, which could most likely describe the participants in the renaming ceremony's state of mind(s).
lazer said:
...[ ]....Yahoo used to be the greatest name in the internet, but could not seem to keep up with Google or even Micro$lop "Hotmail". I think the name "alta bubba" is definitely apropos for Yahoo.
Click to expand...
I think "Alta Blabber" would be even a touch more appropriate.

Perhaps the newly renamed network will allow "spincterphone" compatibility...(y)

From "Urban Dictionary":

sphincterphone
Telephone capable of bypassing the earpiece and mouthpiece by use of a small speaker and microphone. This device was designed with two uses in mind:

1. place the device in a room so that multiple people can converse with the person(s) on the other end of the line

2. allows user to converse without holding a handset to the ear and mouth..."handsfree"

The amazing thing about this device is that, regardless of the application, everybody sounds like an *******.
Dude, watch what you're saying...I've got you on sphincterphone.
#phone #telephone #hands free #handsfree #bluetooth #headset #sphincter phone #speakerphone
by Mistr_Sir December 29, 2007

Here's the rest of the "sphincter". entries on the site: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=sphincterphone

A word to the wise: This is not to be taken lightly. Reading the extensive "S" entries, is not for the faint of heart, the easily offended, or those prone to laughing themselves into a state approaching pulmonary hypertension.

mcborge said:
How do these companies come up with these names... Do they stick a microphone in front of a babbling baby.
Click to expand...
Well no, the mic is thoughtfully placed thus:

Device, (see above), invented by (Bob Dylan's) drummer Sandy Konikoff, a microphone inserted into the anus and used to achieve drumbeats by pounding or slapping the legs and chest.
 
2017-01-09-image-24.jpg


The dress this woman is wearing looks like it was rescued from either Goodwill, at a 1950's time capsule.:D
 
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