Ok I put the memory in as listed in that thread, one on each color (which is NOT condoned by the manual, for the record) and it booted but froze again.
HOWEVER:
I removed the 8800GT and was pleasantly surprised to find that windows installed and I am now writing this from my computer, no crashes in the last 10 minutes.
So. Assuming we've actually hit the source of the issues, what do I do now? I know the 8800gt is compatible for the board because it worked fine before. I will see if there is someone who can let me install it in their computer to see if it works. The card should be fine, though, I don't see why it wouldn't be... so assuming it is in fact ok what should I do to get it talking to the rest of my machine again?
Thanks for all your help, guys, you've been wonderful.