If you were hoping to attend the Portal 2 event scheduled during E3 at Los Angeles' Regal Theater, it seems you're out of luck. Valve has notified the press via email that the dark-humored physics puzzler's presentation has been cancelled. The developer's announcement isn't all bad news however, as it promises to reveal a "surprise" instead.
The amusing email was written entirely in character from Aperture Science and you can read it in full after the break. It's worth noting that Portal 2 will still be present at E3 in some capacity, Valve has just cancelled its media blowout. The memo mentions a Portal 2 screening at the Valve booth during E3.
As for the surprise, well, who knows what's in store. One line in the email says that people can contact Doug Lombardi "if you'd like to ask fruitless questions about the E3 Portal 2 surprise," which suggests that the surprise is related to Portal 2, but that still doesn't mean much. Dear Subject Name Here,
Aperture Science is pleased to inform you that we have partnered with Valve to announce the gala CANCELLATION of the June 14 Portal 2 event at the Regal Theater. The event will be replaced by a surprise. And even though the cancellation of the event certainly counts as a surprise, we are pleased to further announce that the cancellation of the event is not THE surprise. However, per International treaties regarding the definition of the word "surprise", of which both Aperture Science and Valve are signatories, the time, date and content of the actual surprise will only become available as you experience the surprise.
If you'd like to ask fruitless questions about the E3 Portal 2 surprise or, more fruitfully, schedule an appointment to attend a Portal 2 screening at the Valve booth during E3, please contact Valve's Special Envoy to Surprises, Doug Lombardi.
Thank you for **RECORD SCRATCH!!!**
PS: The surprising record scratch is also not the surprise.