Why is it we put men on the moon, long before we put wheels on luggage.:haha:

Regards

I like this one! :D "The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense." - Tom Clancy

Show me a man who has everything, and I'll show you a man who has nothing to live for.

This one I made up myself my sophomore year of H.S when the big y2k thing was going on. We had to write a short essay on our preperations and our feelings towards it. This is all word by word btw.

"Frankly, all of you and half of the rest of the world are complete idiots. It seems that in the scare you all have forgotten that this world was created and then given 24 time zones by man. Why you all scream that the world will end at 12am y2k, someone please tell me. Is this 12am gmt or gmt+10. I want to know so I can pack my bags and travel eastward to the future and avoid the end of the world. So, I beg of you my fellow classman, dont feed the idiot bucket."

Friendship is like peeing in your pants: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

I like this one :D

to speak honestly is often an excuse to be rude

it is better to keep your mouth shut and look a fool, rather than open it and remove all doubt
'mark twain'

anyone not guilty of this once in their life???

I realized that a nuclear bomb was not only possible, it was inevitable. I had then to start taking sleeping pills. It was the only remedy. - Sir James Chadwick.

Thanks for all the replies so far

Any one else got a thought for the day...

One more

Why do dogs hate it when you blow in their face and yet when you get them in the car they insist on sticking their face out of the window...??

why does dog poo not turn white anymore?:suspiciou

Ididmyc600!

I can answer your dog question. The reason why dogs love to stick out their face out of the window is because they like the smell that is travelling with the wind, I guess there is no smell when we blow in their face.

it is better to keep your mouth shut and look a fool, rather than open it and remove all doubt
'mark twain'
I though this was by Abraham Lincoln?

"Time is an illusion, luncthtime doubly so"
Douglas Adams - THHGTTG

I love this one " If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans."
Woody Allen

This is a good one. "Even a mosquito doesn't get a pat on his back until he's well into his work"

I though this was by Abraham Lincoln?

i can assure you jo that it was mark twain. (samuel langhorn clemens)
the exact wording is
"It is best to keep your mouth shut and be presumed ignorant than to open it and remove all doubt."

Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get.

Build a man a fire keep him warm for a night, set a man on fire - keep him warm the rest of his life. Or something like that.

lol@SNGX1275

I though this was by Abraham Lincoln?

"Four score and seven years ago, our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all men all created equal".

That was Lincoln! As you can tell by the content Mr. Lincoln was an idealist almost to the point of delusionality.
The writings of Mark Twain trend toward sarcastic pragmatism.

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
:D

Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Good Idea! :D

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
:D

Were you to scale the armor of the box to protect the entire airplane, the weight penalty would then likely require a nuclear bomb to provide sufficient impetus to achieve flight. This then in turn, would require further strengthening of the airframe, thereby increasing weight, which would in turn cause the stall speed of the aircraft to rise to unmanageable levels. A glide angle of 90 degrees is simply a completely irresponsible design parameter. Not to mention the wear and tear of vertical landings on the runways.

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
:D

Because the question is WRONG!! The boxes are not indesctructible! Also, they are not black!! They're orange!!

I used to be an engineer and worked for the Canadian Aviation Safety Board on flight data recorder recovery methods. Although they are called "black boxes", they are actually orange so that they can be spotted easily in the field. They are not indestructible and are often damaged in the accident. What actually happens is that they are ejected from the aircraft upon impact in an effort to limit damage to them. But that does not mean they do not experience impact at all. They are also designed with padding to protect the magnetic tape from both physical and thermal damage. There were cases in which the tape was not recoverable.

So the question is really silly as that is not the case.

Although they are called "black boxes", they are actually orange so that they can be spotted easily in the field. They are not indestructible and are often damaged in the accident. What actually happens is that they are ejected from the aircraft upon impact in an effort to limit damage to them.

I believe they are called "black boxes" because it evokes more mystery than if the news industry called them "orange boxes". Which does illustrate that the TV news is actually entertainment, and you we shouldn't give to much credibility to the "accuracy" thereof. Face it, the average idiot wouldn't give a s*** if the "orange box" was or wasn't found, but the black one, oooo, now there's a story worthy of self immersion.

Besides, I had hoped that my absurd, pseudo-scientific, comic diatribe based in wing loading and power to weight ratio facts would help others to embrace the silliness. Chill Dude, fire up some Pink.
Furthermore, since the "flight data recorder" gets ejected from the plane, my scenario wouldn't work either, since the plane couldn't be ejected from the plane, or could it?

Because the question is WRONG!! The boxes are not indesctructible! Also, they are not black!! They're orange!!

So the question is really silly as that is not the case.

Excuse the silliness of the question pal, it was more of a joke !!
:(

Rolling Stones gather momentum.

An apple a day makes 365 1/4 a year.

Fools rush in and get the best seats.

Excuse the silliness of the question pal, it was more of a joke !!
:(

Don't worry about it! I think most people know what you meant. It was just over analyzed a bit! lol :p

Don't worry about it! I think most people know what you meant. It was just over analyzed a bit! lol :p

Now, that's the spirit !
:wave:

I would never die for my beliefs, because I might be wrong. Bertrand Russel

Little miss muffet sat on her tuffet, eating her curds away. Along came a spider that sat down beside her.....and said "yo, what's in the bowl b***h?" -Andrew Dice Clay

"It is best to keep your mouth shut and be presumed ignorant than to open it and remove all doubt."

Maybe that explains the scant responses, particularly in the Meeting Spot.

How many members does TECHSPOT have ?

Maybe that explains the scant responses, particularly in the Meeting Spot.
Quote:
"It is best to keep your mouth shut and be presumed ignorant than to open it and remove all doubt."

How many members does TECHSPOT have ?

class .......:haha:

Excuse the silliness of the question pal, it was more of a joke !!
:(

I know it's a joke and I've heard it scores of times! Like I said, I used to work on flight data recorders (FDRs). I was simply pointing out just how absurd the joke is. It wasn't intended as annoyance or irritation, more like a groan to a bad pun!

No offense intended nor received, ok? I should have put some kind of a smilie in there to show I was just groaning at the silly joke.

I believe they are called "black boxes" because it evokes more mystery than if the news industry called them "orange boxes". Which does illustrate that the TV news is actually entertainment, and you we shouldn't give to much credibility to the "accuracy" thereof. Face it, the average idiot wouldn't give a s*** if the "orange box" was or wasn't found, but the black one, oooo, now there's a story worthy of self immersion.

...


Actually, that's not why it's referred to as a "black box".

"Black Box" is an engineering term. We use when modeling a system. The idea is that there are inputs into a "box", something mysterious happens and then the epected outputs emerge. Because it's mysterious, we call it a "black box".
" _________ "
" -----> | | "
"Inputs -----> |Black Box | -------> Output(s) "
" -----> |_________| "

For instance, my first full time job, I performed "black box" testing on a control system for an airplane. We had lab test equipment that feed inputs into the controller and displays to show the outputs. I had to develop tests that alternated the inputs and show that the expected outputs were produced.

In the case of flight data recorders, even engineers refer to it as a "black box" even though it's actually orange. The orange colour is so that it can be more easily spotted in the field. We call it "black box" because it performs specific functions that to the outside world appears "mysterious".

In keeping with the aeronautical theme: "Any landing you can walk away from is a good one"!

If one box is the flight data recorder, and the other the ****pit voice recorder, then it doesn't seem right to persist in calling them "black boxes", since we now know what they do.

Apparently I should have called the voice recorder "the thingy that records the voices in the place in front where the pilot and copilot fly the plane.

In keeping with the aeronautical theme: "Any landing you can walk away from is a good one"!

If one box is the flight data recorder, and the other the ****pit voice recorder, then it doesn't seem right to persist in calling them "black boxes", since we now know what they do.

In keeping with that line of thinking, then why do they call it ROM for Read-Only Memory if you can write to it?

Why do they call it, "military intelligence"? Can you see what I'm saying!

Since I got censored for calling what it is, and the thingy that records [.......], is way too cumbersome, I hereby concede to the established wisdom in nomenclature, and from this moment forthwith will call it "the black box".

Plus the fact, almcneil, I was humbled and my arguments rendered ineffective, when confounded by the eloquence of your little diagram.

"Military Intelligence" is what's call an "oxymoron". The words don't go together or contradict ech other. For example, "honest lawyer", "homebody vagabond", ...

In keeping with that line of thinking, then why do they call it ROM for Read-Only Memory if you can write to it?

This too is an oxymoron. Well, maybe it could be called a paradox.

if a pessimist had a choice of two evils, would he take both ?:rolleyes:

More likely a hybrid, I guess.

No offense intended nor received, ok? I should have put some kind of a smilie in there to show I was just groaning at the silly joke.
No hard feelings !;)

And finally my latest collection...


*WHO'S IDEA WAS IT THAT WE SHOULD WORK FIVE DAYS IN A WEEK ? (WHY NOT
THREE?)*

*Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up
every two hours? **

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? *

*Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are
flat? **

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is
not enough? **

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but
check when you say the paint is wet? **

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? **

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?**

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a
revolver at him?**

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?**

Whose idea was it to put an! "S" in the word "lisp"?**

What is the speed of darkness?**

Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at the
Special Olympics? **
**

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold
tomorrow, how cold will it be?**

If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing
here?**

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?*
*

Do you cry under water?**

Why d! o people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars
to look at things on the ground? **

Did you ever stop and wonder......** *

*Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze **
these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?" *

*Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat*
*the next thing that comes outta it's bum." *

*Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to
**a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? *

*Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?** *

*Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't** **
point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is? *

*Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you
get** **undressed
if they are going to look up there anyway **? *

*Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both
dogs* *! *

*Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream** ?? *

*If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? (This one kills me** !!!!) *

*If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,**
**then what is baby oil made from* *? *

*If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons** ? *

*Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same
tune?** *

*Stop singing and read on . . . . . .. . . . **. *

*Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?** *

*Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?** *

Thats all folks

did you want the answers to those questions? It'll take some time to actually type them up, and kinda defeats the purpose of this thread...


:D:D:d

Be nice to people on your way up, because you may meet them on your way down.

Hey Ididmyc600
Did you ever wonder:
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin ?
Why you never see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
:haha:

Why is George Bush are president?

Why is George Bush are president? Because 52% of the voters in the US our imbeciles.

Hey Ididmyc600
Did you ever wonder:
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin ?
Why you never see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
:haha:

You're ripping off George Carlin!!

Because 52% of the voters in the US our imbeciles.

I can see from your grammar, you're in the 52%!! (it's "are imbeciles!)

Luckily, I'm canadian and exempt from the statistic! WOO-HOO!!

What is going on with everyone on this forum correcting people for stupid grammatical errors? This is an internet forum, not a college essay.

And yeah you are very lucky.

United States politics are a joke.

Hey Ididmyc600
Did you ever wonder:
Why you never see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why do you even need to ask.
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Because it's not
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
It's a professional practice, which strikes me as an oxymoron
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why are you "broker" than him, is the question you should be asking.
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Just because it isn't listed in the ingredients doesn't mean it isn't there.
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Maybe their hair just gets shorter.
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
In Spanish they are called "apartimientos", does that help?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
:haha:
One might also ask, "why do you start at the end"?

What is going on with everyone on this forum correcting people for stupid grammatical errors? This is an internet forum, not a college essay.

It was meant "tongue in cheek" !! He called voters imbeciles then made an obvious grammatical error!


And yeah you are very lucky.

United States politics are a joke.

Don't worry, we have our clowns up here too!!

If you're at all interested, do a Google search on John F. Kennedy and John G. Diefenbaker. The hissing and spitting between those two was both nasty and comical!! They *HATED* each other!!