I have found the one ring that will rule all.

Over the last couple of years I've harnessed the long forsought power to see through facades that companies like Microsoft create in front of unknowing, huddled masses of newbies. Many assume Microsoft as a doer of good, but look deeper and you'll find there is a darker, evil, maniacal side to Microsoft's seemingly innocent updates. Microsoft is not the only one; for there are many more money-grabbin' corporations whose plot to take your money, I have foiled.

Many of you are scratching your heads right now and wondering what am I talking about. I am the chosen one and I believe the truth must be heard before it is too late. What I am about to reveal is shocking to the utmost power of two.

For years I have enjoyed using win95 and foolish of me to think my prayers have been answered. I thought this was the ultimate OS of the future. But then, in a dark lair at Redmond, Washington, lay Microsoft, planning its next attack. One by one it released win2000, and then, winXP. (winME is not really an OS). One by one the huddled masses of newbies succumbed to buying these upgrade OS. Soon I was the only one in the world using win95.

Years passed and surprisingly enough Microsoft continued to release updates for my dying win95. Little did I know, behind each updates was a code that crippled my OS bit-by-bit until at last I couldn't stand using win95 any longer; I was forced to switch to win98. Microsoft's darkness got to me.

Do you get what I'm saying?

Ahhhhh, no.

Dude, go Linux!

And then get a life :haha:
I'm kidding, really...:rolleyes:

My man, you need linux and a girlfriend..... ;)

/dev/girlfriend > medication &

I've just made, at this early hour in the morning, my fifth attempt at reading your post and trying to understand what the heck you are talking about...

I am still none the wiser.... :confused:

so yours saying that microsoft updates are actually designed to kill old OSs so that ppl are forced upgrade? Sounds interesting. *Que x-files music* I wouldnt put it past microsoft...

But if you want a really freaky conspiracy. check this out (http://www.asile.org/citoyens/numero13/pentagone/erreurs_en.htm)

Oh yeah, erwin1978, Nice sig. Radical Edward rulez :grinthumb

Originally posted by ScarletHippo
so yours saying that microsoft updates are actually designed to kill old OSs so that ppl are forced upgrade? Sounds interesting. *Que x-files music* I wouldnt put it past microsoft...

But if you want a really freaky conspiracy. check this out (http://www.asile.org/citoyens/numero13/pentagone/erreurs_en.htm)

Oh yeah, erwin1978, Nice sig. Radical Edward rulez :grinthumb

YOU Da MAN. That's exactly what I'm talking about. I'm not saying Microsoft is the only one because there are others. My keen sense of reading between lines have noticed that once a new retail product/service that's supposed to replace the previous iteration has been released, all of a sudden the old version starts acting up.

No, I don't either. Technology never stands still. I still know people who claim MS Dos, Win3.1, OS2, were the most stable. What Win95 did was bring these simplicity of using a computer to the IBM PC clones, that previously only Apple users had enjoyed. Win95 is crash prone, but I still have it on a couple machines w/ old componets due to driver issues.

Conspiracy Theories never make any sense, & are usually based on subjective evidence, a fake phony "expert", or some kind of "eyewitness" account. Science (logic) always prevails in these matters.

Originally posted by erwin1978
I am the chosen one and I believe the truth must be heard before it is too late.


Originally posted by erwin1978
My keen sense of reading between lines

Perhaps you'd care to explain the nature of your elitism to the 3DS membership???

In my opinion, the truly great are also the most truly humble...

Originally posted by erwin1978
Microsoft is not the only one; for there are many more money-grabbin' corporations whose plot to take your money, I have foiled.

So.... What you are saying is that..... you are some kind of megacorporation battling superhero??? Which one are you? Superman? Wolverine? Batgirl??? Get a hold of yourself before you wind up doing something silly.

;)

You haven't foiled anything. You have a poorly articulated rant, nothing more. Don't pretend you are something that you are not.

An active imagination is one thing but don't let it get the better of you.

Originally posted by Phantasm66
I've just made, at this early hour in the morning, my fifth attempt at reading your post and trying to understand what the heck you are talking about...

I am still none the wiser.... :confused:

Im with ya on this one Phantasm..I took a quick read of it last night a 2 a.m. and it was all a blur. Today, it still is..

I've read it and understood it, but it is one of the more egotistical rants I've read. And the very nature of technology is progression to newer and better. Everyone has their opinions on whats good and what isn't for use on their computers. But somehow I get an image of this guy curled up in front of his 486 with a blanket, waiting for the sky to fall on him.

But I do understand his theory....

Originally posted by Ronin Tetsuro
But somehow I get an image of this guy curled up in front of his 486 with a blanket, waiting for the sky to fall on him.


All nestled up, warm and cozy, with his 486 chugging away..Alright Im done. That was quite funny Ronin.

Originally posted by Phantasm66

Perhaps you'd care to explain the nature of your elitism to the 3DS membership???

I see (since I have noticed you active on the forums since) you have chosen to decline....

Any time you want to test that "elite" intellect of yours, I will be waiting for you..... :evil:

There, Phantasm, you've done it. You scared the guy...

Originally posted by ToRN
There, Phantasm, you've done it. You scared the guy...

Good :) ;) :evil:

It is I once again. I was waiting for the consensus as to what you all think of my new ring. I didn't expect I would be ridiculed to the power of three without mercy; especially by Phantasm66. :eek:

Note: It could be your age or it could be your locale, but most of you took what I said too seriously to the bone. This is the first forum that doesn't see the humor in me. :( That's a shocker! I'll be hearing from Phantasm66 about my humor no doubt. I still think I'm funny.

Now back to my topic: My name is Froto. Although I wear a blanky over me, I do not wait for the sky to fall on me. It does get cold during the night.

I have a new quote: "To accept as it is is linear, but to find an alternative is knowledge." NOW that is deep; don't you think?

Originally posted by erwin1978
NOW that is deep; don't you think?
Truthfully...I think it's rather n00biesque.

Originally posted by erwin1978
It is I once again. I was waiting for the consensus as to what you all think of my new ring. I didn't expect I would be ridiculed to the power of three without mercy; especially by Phantasm66. :eek:

I have a new quote: "To accept as it is is linear, but to find an alternative is knowledge." NOW that is deep; don't you think?

Or an over active imagination.

I'm sorry gang, I still don't get him. Are you a model builder too ?

Originally posted by erwin1978
NOW that is deep; don't you think?

I think you are an idiot.....

Originally posted by erwin1978
Note: It could be your age or it could be your locale, but most of you took what I said too seriously to the bone. I still think I'm funny.


I am not sure exactly what you mean. And I see little funny here. There is plenty making me laugh at the moment, but your post is not something that is......

Lets talk about how you are so "gifted".....

Originally posted by svtcobra


Im with ya on this one Phantasm..I took a quick read of it last night a 2 a.m. and it was all a blur. Today, it still is..


Don't read it!!!! Its' poorly expressed rant wants your soul :evil: .....

It says: join the ranks of the tin foil microwave covering freaks if you dare.....

Originally posted by erwin1978
Note: It could be your age or it could be your locale, but most of you took what I said too seriously to the bone. This is the first forum that doesn't see the humor in me. :( That's a shocker! I'll be hearing from Phantasm66 about my humor no doubt. I still think I'm funny.


I've often considered the principle of jokes requiring a punch-line. There is no punch line in your joke.

It's okay though, no one here hates you or anything because you posted something we didn't totally get. People just thought you were a loon . Hehe! ;) But since you were not serious, then you might not be so weird afterall.

Anyway, welcome to 3DS.

Originally posted by uncleel
Conspiracy Theories never make any sense, & are usually based on subjective evidence...
Conspiracy theorist sound like they're paranoid, & refer to some weird propaganda as fact.

These conspiracy theorist that come up with bogus ideas on why we never went to the moon because of a photo of a U.S. Flag flying in the vacuum of space. Never thinking that the US flags planted on the moon were made nylon and were rigged with a wire along the top and/or bottom so that they looked like they were "waving."
http://www.rsis.com/nasa/hc1142.htm

This flawed logic process is called a false assumption.
An example of a false assumption is:
John is a boy.
John has blue eyes.
All boys have blue eyes.
Their delusions are faulty interpretations of reality that cannot be shaken despite clear evidence to the contrary.

I must be a loon too! I read it and found it quite comical. You talk like Ed though, erwin. Sorry guys, I'm not with you on this one - I enjoyed his post especially when it's been so slow around here lately.

LNCPapa

Originally posted by LNCPapa
I must be a loon too!

Shame on you! You should know better than to encourage madness in the sick. These people need help and encouragement in their imaginary world does little to help them......

Remember when you ran away and
I got on my knees and begged you
Not to leave because I'd go berserk?
Well,You left me anyhow and then the
Days got worse and worse and now you
See I've gone completely out of my mind.
And,

They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa.
They're coming to take me away, ho ho, he he, ha ha,
To the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time
And I'll be happy to see those nice young
Men in their clean white coats and
They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!

You thought it was a joke and so you
Laughed, you laughed!
When I had said that losing you would make me flip my lid - right?
You know you laughed, I heard you laugh,
You laughed, you laughed and laughed, and then you
Left, but now you know I'm utterly mad.
And,

They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa.
They're coming to take me away, ho ho, he he , ha ha,
To the happy home with trees and flowers and chirping birds
And basket weavers who sit and smile
And twiddle their thumbs and toes
And they're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!

I cooked your food, I cleaned your house
And this is how you pay me back
For all my kind, unselfish loving deeds? Huh?
Well, you just wait--they'll find you yet
And when they do they'll put you in the
ASPCA you mangy mutt!
And,

They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa.
They're coming to take me away, ho ho, he he, ha ha,
To the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time
And I'll be happy to see those nice young
Men in their clean white coats and

They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!
To the happy home with trees and flowers and chirping birds
And basket weavers who sit and smile
And twiddle their thumbs and toes
And they're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!
To the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time
And I'll be happy to see those nice young
Men in their clean white coats and
They're coming to take me away!

* author, Jerry Samuels

Considering how much it looked like something out of Terror Firma (http://www.sfrevu.com/2001/9978%20Terror%20Firma/Terror%20Firma.htm), I figured it had to be a joke... (If not men in white dresses would be coming for him ASAP..:D)


But a little more on topic... If you'd want to be sure we took it as humour, you should've added a smiley or something... (Maybe a second post...)
And it should've been formulated a little bit different... Without a punchline (as mentioned before) it's hard to differentiate from a "proper" (in the loosest possible term of the word) conspiracy theory....

.02$

Originally posted by Rick

There is no punch line in your joke.

I fear that he, himself, may be the punchline.

I knew it !!! It's all a scam. See you all, i'm going back to Win 3.11

*Didou runs off like a madman*

Originally posted by Didou
*Didou runs off like a madman*
lol :haha:

We are all internet GEEKs

Ditto, lose Windows...it's all a conspiracy...

:eek: :eek: :eek: I JUST FOUND OUT LINUS TRIVALDS WAS FUNDED MY MICROSOFT! :eek: :eek: :eek:

It's the end of the world as we know it...

* Vehementi curls up next to his 286, an ample source of heat, his eyes bugged out, his breathing ragged, and his entire body quivering with the nightmares of the Global Monopoly...

I JUST FOUND OUT LINUS TRIVALDS WAS FUNDED MY MICROSOFT!

If you mean Linus Torvaldes, I'm gonna go hide beside my 286 and hope that they don't find me...oh no...they're here :dead:

edit: I'm being held captive by Bill Gates and he's testing new methods of torture by tech support on me!:blackeye:

I don't give a damn about Microsoft doing stuff to Linus Trivalds and Linus Torvaldes as long as it keeps away from Linus Torvalds, the creator of Linux kernel :p

Oops...my bad... kinda

crippled my OS bit-by-bit until at last I couldn't stand using win95 any longer; I was forced to switch to win98.

You like 95?
You dont like 98?
You think that 95 became crippled with updates?

95 = Unstable, Unusable.
98 = One of the few decent OS

98 = Good :)

OK, a few points..

Any time you want to test that "elite" intellect of yours, I will be waiting for you.....

1, P66s current (deserved) board title of "TS Elite & TS staff" makes his comment all the more amusing. lol

2, I have to say that I found the original post to be very tongue in cheek, which I guess is a form of humour, even if it is easily mistaken for something else.

3, this thread was dragged up first about two yars after it dropped back into the nether regions of the database.

4, It's now been revived from the darkest sections of the database yet again after a two year period, and thus four years have passed since the thread was started

5, Win 98 was an absolutely awful OS. It was so bad in fact that MS quickly went back to the proverbial drawing board, and soon returned with Win98SE, which was nowhere near as bad. It was however still buggy compared to such OS's as we currently have in todays generation.

6, Todays revival references and is directed to the original poster, and I very much doubt that he's even interested anymore! Surely it's about time to lay this thread to rest and just mark it with the words "R.I.P"?

Amen brother! Praise the Lord, hallelujah!

I command these spirits, these evil spirits of the 95 to be gone! Out I command it! And you 98, you blasphemer of the OS, out with thee.

This house is clear. The evil forces of MicroSpirits have been banished to the trash bin!
:p
Bunny live on.

Amen brother! Praise the Lord, hallelujah!

I command these spirits, these evil spirits of the 95 to be gone! Out I command it! And you 98, you blasphemer of the OS, out with thee.

This house is clear. The evil forces of MicroSpirits have been banished to the trash bin!
:p
.

That is alot funnier then the original post. How did Curtis find this thread?