Why is it we put men on the moon, long before we put wheels on luggage.

Regards

I like this one! "The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense." - Tom Clancy

Show me a man who has everything, and I'll show you a man who has nothing to live for.

This one I made up myself my sophomore year of H.S when the big y2k thing was going on. We had to write a short essay on our preperations and our feelings towards it. This is all word by word btw.

"Frankly, all of you and half of the rest of the world are complete ******. It seems that in the scare you all have forgotten that this world was created and then given 24 time zones by man. Why you all scream that the world will end at 12am y2k, someone please tell me. Is this 12am gmt or gmt+10. I want to know so I can pack my bags and travel eastward to the future and avoid the end of the world. So, I beg of you my fellow classman, dont feed the ***** bucket."

Friendship is like peeing in your pants: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

I like this one

to speak honestly is often an excuse to be rude

it is better to keep your mouth shut and look a fool, rather than open it and remove all doubt
'mark twain'

anyone not guilty of this once in their life???

I realized that a nuclear bomb was not only possible, it was inevitable. I had then to start taking sleeping pills. It was the only remedy. - Sir James Chadwick.

Thanks for all the replies so far

Any one else got a thought for the day...

One more

Why do dogs hate it when you blow in their face and yet when you get them in the car they insist on sticking their face out of the window...??

why does dog poo not turn white anymore?

Ididmyc600!

I can answer your dog question. The reason why dogs love to stick out their face out of the window is because they like the smell that is travelling with the wind, I guess there is no smell when we blow in their face.

I though this was by Abraham Lincoln?

"Time is an illusion, luncthtime doubly so"
Douglas Adams - THHGTTG

I love this one " If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans."
Woody Allen

This is a good one. "Even a mosquito doesn't get a pat on his back until he's well into his work"

i can assure you jo that it was mark twain. (samuel langhorn clemens)
the exact wording is
"It is best to keep your mouth shut and be presumed ignorant than to open it and remove all doubt."

Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get.

Build a man a fire keep him warm for a night, set a man on fire - keep him warm the rest of his life. Or something like that.

lol@SNGX1275

"Four score and seven years ago, our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all men all created equal".

That was Lincoln! As you can tell by the content Mr. Lincoln was an idealist almost to the point of delusionality.
The writings of Mark Twain trend toward sarcastic pragmatism.

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!