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Microsoft Jokes

By Phantasm66
Mar 31, 2002
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  1. Post all of your Microsoft Jokes Here

    Of course this is old news, but its worth bringing up again.

    You do know that someone pied Bill Gates in the face....????

    And then he was at a conference and someone else pied him again.....

    If only I could meet the little runt alone on a dark night.... :evil:

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    Heheh I love that last one the best!

    Here http://www.bitstorm.org/gates/ you can even download the mpeg....
     
  2. Phantasm66

    Phantasm66 TS Rookie Topic Starter Posts: 6,504   +6

  3. Phantasm66

    Phantasm66 TS Rookie Topic Starter Posts: 6,504   +6

    "You will be assimilated" - The Borg Collective.

    [​IMG]
     
  4. Phantasm66

    Phantasm66 TS Rookie Topic Starter Posts: 6,504   +6

    Hail Bill

    [​IMG]

    You have my allegence..... ;)
     
  5. Phantasm66

    Phantasm66 TS Rookie Topic Starter Posts: 6,504   +6

    Bill Gates dies and fronts up to the pearly gates.
    St Peter: Well, you've got a choice. Have a look around here. Pop down to Hell and see what Satan has to offer. Check us out, and then let me know your decision.

    Bill has a look around heaven. Lots's of sombre people singing hymns, praising the Lord (and probably writing AdA :). He goes down to Hell. There are beautiful beaches, lots of sun, sand, attractive women (and a lot of C and Basic :). Long cool drinks that never get you drunk. He loves it. He goes back to St Peter.

    Gates: Look, I know you're really doing good things here, but Hell seems more with it. More my kind of scene, you know what I mean? No hard feelings, but I pick Hell.

    St Peter: No worries. You've got it.



    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Bill finds himself back in Hell, neck deep in fire and brimstone, suffering eternal torment. He can't work it out.
    Gates: Hey! St Peter! Where are the beautiful girls and long beaches and cool drinks?

    St Peter: Sorry if you got confused, that was just the demo version.
     
  6. Phantasm66

    Phantasm66 TS Rookie Topic Starter Posts: 6,504   +6

    At a recent computer expo (COMDEX) Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated:

    "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon"

    In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release statement; cars made by Microsoft would have the following characteristics:

    1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.

    2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.

    3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.

    4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

    5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT". But then you would have to buy more seats.

    6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, be twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five per cent of the roads.

    7. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.

    8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.

    9. The airbag system would say, "Are you sure?" before going off.

    10. Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in, until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

    11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them.

    Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more.

    12. Every time GM introduced a new model car, buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

    13. You'd press the "start" button to shut off the engine.

    http://www.plumbingworld.com/chuckles.html
     
  7. Phantasm66

    Phantasm66 TS Rookie Topic Starter Posts: 6,504   +6

    http://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/

    Fattest program The fattest program ever compiled is Microsoft Windows95. It has
    a ratio of actual size to size required of 95:1. Windows95 is also the program with
    the highest ratio of bugs to functions which is 95:1. (Guinness Book of Records)

    http://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/
     
  8. Phantasm66

    Phantasm66 TS Rookie Topic Starter Posts: 6,504   +6

    Top 10 Things People Think the 95 in Windows 95 Really Stands For
    The year it was DUE to ship
    The number of MHz required for the operating system to run
    The number of people who will actually PAY for the upgrade
    The number of calls to tech support before you can get it to run
    The number of minutes to install
    The percentage of existing programs that won't run in the new operating system
    The number of pages in the "EASY INSTALL" version of the manual
    The number of megabytes of hard-disc space required
    The percentage of people who will have to upgrade their hardware
    The number of floppies it will ship on

    http://www.complang.tuwien.ac.at/alex/MS/Windows-95.html
     
  9. Phantasm66

    Phantasm66 TS Rookie Topic Starter Posts: 6,504   +6

    We are Borg

    Star Trek & Microsoft
    "Star Trek Lost Episodes" transcript
    <Picard> "Mr. LaForge, have you had any success with your attempts at finding a weakness in the Borg? And Mr. Data, have you been able to access their command pathways?"
    <Geordi> "Yes, Captain. In fact, we found the answer by searching through our archives on late Twentieth-century computing technology."

    <Geordi presses a key, and a logo appears on the computer screen.

    <Riker looks puzzled.> "What the hell is `Microsoft'?"

    <Data turns to answer.> "Allow me to explain. We will send this program, for some reason called `Windows', through the Borg command pathways. Once inside their root command unit, it will begin consuming system resources at an unstoppable rate."

    <Picard> "But the Borg have the ability to adapt. Won't they alter their processing systems to increase their storage capacity?"

    <Data> "Yes, Captain. But when `Windows' detects this, it creates a new version of itself known as an `upgrade'. The use of resources increases exponentially with each iteration. The Borg will not be able to adapt quickly enough. Eventually all of their processing ability will be taken over and none will be available for their normal operational functions."

    <Picard> "Excellent work. This is even better than that `unsolvable geometric shape' idea."

    . . . 15 Minutes Later . . .

    <Data> "Captain, we have successfully installed the `Windows' in the Borg's command unit. As expected, it immediately consumed 85% of all available resources. However, we have not received any confirmation of the expected `upgrade'."

    <Geordi> "Our scanners have picked up an increase in Borg storage and CPU capacity, but we still have no indication of an `upgrade' to compensate for their increase."

    <Picard> "Data, scan the history banks again and determine if there is something we have missed."

    <Data> "Sir, I believe there is a reason for the failure in the `upgrade'. Apparently the Borg have circumvented that part of the plan by not sending in their registration cards."

    <Riker> "Captain, we have no choice. Requesting permission to begin emergency escape sequence 3F ...."

    <Geordi, excited> "Wait, Captain! Their CPU capacity has suddenly dropped to 0% !"

    <Picard> "Data, what does your scanners show?"

    <Data, studying displays> "Apparently the Borg have found the internal `Windows' module named `Solitaire', and it has used up all available CPU capacity."

    <Picard> "Let's wait and see how long this `Solitaire' can reduce their functionality."

    . . . Two Hours Pass . . .

    <Riker> "Geordi, what is the status of the Borg?"

    <Geordi> "As expected, the Borg are attempting to re-engineer to compensate for increased CPU and storage demands, but each time they successfully increase resources I have setup our closest deep space monitor beacon to transmit more `Windows' modules from something called the `Microsoft Fun-pack'.

    <Picard> "How much time will that buy us?"

    <Data> "Current Borg solution rates allow me to predicate an interest time span of 6 more hours."

    <Geordi> "Captain, another vessel has entered our sector."

    <Picard> "Identify."

    <Data> "It appears to have markings very similar to the 'Microsoft' logo..."

    <Over the speakers> "THIS IS ADMIRAL BILL GATES OF THE MICROSOFT FLAGSHIP _MONOPOLY_. WE HAVE POSITIVE CONFIRMATION OF UNREGISTERED SOFTWARE IN THIS SECTOR. SURRENDER ALL ASSETS AND WE CAN AVOID ANY TROUBLE. YOU HAVE 10 SECONDS TO COMPLY."

    <Data> "The alien ship has just opened its forward hatches and released thousands of humanoid-shaped objects."

    <Picard> "Magnify forward viewer on the alien craft!"

    <Riker> "My God, captain! Those are human beings floating straight toward the Borg ship - with no life support suits! How can they survive the tortures of deep space?!"

    <Data> "I don't believe that those are humans, sir. If you will look closer I believe you will see that they are carrying something recognized by twenty-first century man as doeskin leather briefcases, and wearing Armani suits."

    <Riker and Picard, together - horrified> "Lawyers!!"

    <Geordi> "It can't be. All the Lawyers were rounded up and sent hurtling into the sun in 2017 during the Great Awakening."

    <Data> "True, but apparently some must have survived."

    <Riker> "They have surrounded the Borg ship and are covering it with all types of papers."

    <Data> "I believe that is known in ancient vernacular as `red tape'. It often proves fatal."

    <Riker> "They're tearing the Borg to pieces!"

    <Picard> "Turn the monitors off, Data, I cant bear to watch. Even the Borg doesn't deserve such a gruesome death!"



    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Origin: comp.os.os2.advocacy, Sender: LapkaC@columbia.DSU.Edu / STARTREK Role Playing game list / Editor: alex@complang.tuwien.ac.at
     
  10. Phantasm66

    Phantasm66 TS Rookie Topic Starter Posts: 6,504   +6

    MICROSOFT Bids to Acquire Catholic Church
    By Hank Vorjes
    VATICAN CITY (AP) -- In a joint press conference in St. Peter's Square this morning, MICROSOFT Corp. and the Vatican announced that the Redmond software giant will acquire the Roman Catholic Church in exchange for an unspecified number of shares of MICROSOFT common stock. If the deal goes through, it will be the first time a computer software company has acquired a major world religion.

    With the acquisition, Pope John Paul II will become the senior vice-president of the combined company's new Religious Software Division, while MICROSOFT senior vice-presidents Michael Maples and Steven Ballmer will be invested in the College of Cardinals, said MICROSOFT Chairman Bill Gates.

    "We expect a lot of growth in the religious market in the next five to ten years," said Gates. "The combined resources of MICROSOFT and the Catholic Church will allow us to make religion easier and more fun for a broader range of people."

    Through the MICROSOFT Network, the company's new on-line service, "we will make the sacraments available on-line for the first time" and revive the popular pre-Counter-Reformation practice of selling indulgences, said Gates. "You can get Communion, confess your sins, receive absolution -- even reduce your time in Purgatory -- all without leaving your home."

    A new software application, MICROSOFT Church, will include a macro language which you can program to download heavenly graces automatically while you are away from your computer.

    An estimated 17,000 people attended the announcement in St Peter's Square, watching on a 60-foot screen as comedian Don Novello -- in character as Father Guido Sarducci -- hosted the event, which was broadcast by satellite to 700 sites worldwide.

    Pope John Paul II said little during the announcement. When Novello chided Gates, "Now I guess you get to wear one of these pointy hats," the crowd roared, but the pontiff's smile seemed strained.

    The deal grants MICROSOFT exclusive electronic rights to the Bible and the Vatican's prized art collection, which includes works by such masters as Michelangelo and Da Vinci. But critics say MICROSOFT will face stiff challenges if it attempts to limit competitors' access to these key intellectual properties.

    "The Jewish people invented the look and feel of the holy scriptures," said Rabbi David Gottschalk of Philadelphia. "You take the parting of the Red Sea -- we had that thousands of years before the Catholics came on the scene."

    But others argue that the Catholic and Jewish faiths both draw on a common Abrahamic heritage. "The Catholic Church has just been more successful in marketing it to a larger audience," notes Notre Dame theologian Father Kenneth Madigan. Over the last 2,000 years, the Catholic Church's market share has increased dramatically, while Judaism, which was the first to offer many of the concepts now touted by Christianity, lags behind.

    Historically, the Church has a reputation as an aggressive competitor, leading crusades to pressure people to upgrade to Catholicism, and entering into exclusive licensing arrangements in various kingdoms whereby all subjects were instilled with Catholicism, whether or not they planned to use it. Today Christianity is available from several denominations, but the Catholic version is still the most widely used. The Church's mission is to reach "the four corners of the earth," echoing MICROSOFT's vision of "a computer on every desktop and in every home".

    Gates described MICROSOFT's long-term strategy to develop a scalable religious architecture that will support all religions through emulation. A single core religion will be offered with a choice of interfaces according to the religion desired -- "One religion, a couple of different implementations," said Gates.

    The MICROSOFT move could spark a wave of mergers and acquisitions, according to Herb Peters, a spokesman for the U.S. Southern Baptist Conference, as other churches scramble to strengthen their position in the increasingly competitive religious market.



    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Found by
    M. Anton Ertl Some things have to be seen to be believed
    anton@complang.tuwien.ac.at Most things have to be believed to be seen
     
  11. Phantasm66

    Phantasm66 TS Rookie Topic Starter Posts: 6,504   +6

    http://www.abaloneweb.com/jokes/abwgatesjokes.htm

    Bill Gates/Microsoft Jokes
    All Topics Bill's New House Bill talks with God Computer Terms Novelties
    The Night before Christmas
    'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
    Not a creature was stirring, except Papa's mouse.
    The computer was humming, the icons were hopping,
    As Papa did last-minute Internet shopping.
    The stockings were hung by the modem with care
    In hope that St. Nicholas would bring new software.
    The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
    While visions of computer games danced in their heads.

    PageMaker for Billy, and Quicken for Dan,
    And Carmen Sandiego for Pamela Ann.
    The letters to Santa had been sent out by Mom,
    To santaclaus@toyshop.northpole.com -

    Which has now been re-routed to Washington State
    Because Santa's workshop has been bought by Bill Gates.
    All the elves and reindeer have had to skedaddle
    To flashy new quarters in suburban Seattle.

    After centuries of a life that was simple and spare,
    St. Nicholas is suddenly a new billionaire,
    With a shiny red Porsche in the place of his sleigh,
    And a house on Lake Washington that's just down the way
    >From where Bill has his mansion. The old fellow preens
    In black Gucci boots and red Calvin Klein jeans.
    The elves have stock options and desks with a view,
    Where they write computer code for Johnny and Sue.

    No more dolls or tin soldiers or little toy drums
    Will be under the tree, only compact disk ROMS
    With the Microsoft label. So spin up your drive,
    >From now on Christmas runs only on Win95.

    More rapid than eagles the competitors came,
    And Bill whistled, and shouted, and called them by name.
    "Now, ADOBE! now, CLARIS! now, INTUIT! too,
    Now, APPLE! and NETSCAPE! you are all of you through,

    It is Microsoft's SANTA that the kids can't resist,
    It's the ultimate software with a traditional twist -
    Recommended by no less than the jolly old elf,
    And on the package, a picture of Santa himself.

    Get 'em young, keep 'em long, is Microsoft's scheme,
    And a merger with Santa is a marketer's dream.
    To the top of the NASDAQ! to the top of the Dow!
    Now dash away! dash away! dash away - wow!"

    And Mama in her 'kerchief and I in my cap,
    Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,
    When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
    The whir and the hum of our satellite platter,
    As it turned toward that new Christmas star in the sky,
    The SANTALITE owned by the Microsoft guy.
    As I sprang from my bed and was turning around,
    My computer turned on with a Jingle-Bells sound.

    And there on the screen was a smiling Bill Gates
    Next to jolly old Santa, two arm-in-arm mates.
    And I heard them exclaim in voice so bright,
    Have a MICROSOFT CHRISTMAS, and TO ALL A GOODNIGHT.

    Bill's New House
    Now that Bill Gates is moving into his new house, the following is a conversation heard last week.
    Bill: "There are a few issues we need to discuss."
    Contractor: "Ah, you have our basic support option. Calls are free for the first 90 days and $75 a call thereafter. Okay?"
    Bill: "Uh, yeah... the first issue is the living room. We think it's a little smaller than we anticipated."
    Contractor: "Yeah. Some compromises were made to have it out by the release date."
    Bill: "We won't be able to fit all our furniture in there."
    Contractor: "Well, you have two options. You can purchase a new, larger living room; or you can use a Stacker."
    Bill: "Stacker?"
    Contractor: "Yeah, it allows you to fit twice as much furniture into the room. By stacking it, of course, you put the entertainment center on the couch... the chairs on the table... etc. You leave an empty spot, so when you want to use some furniture you can unstack what you need and then put it back when you're done."
    Bill: "Uh... I dunno... issue two. The second issue is the light fixtures. The bulbs we brought with us from our old home won't fit. The threads run the wrong way."
    Contractor: "Oh! That's easy. Those bulbs aren't plug and play. You'll have to upgrade to the new bulbs."
    Bill: "And the electrical outlets? The holes are round, not rectangular. How do I fix that?"
    Contractor: "Just uninstall and reinstall the electrical system."
    Bill: "You're kidding!?"
    Contractor: "Nope. Its the only way."
    Bill: "(sigh) Well... I have one last problem. Sometimes, when I have guests over, someone will flush the toilet and it won't stop. The water
    pressure drops so low that the showers don't work."
    Contractor: "That's a resource leakage problem. One fixture is failing to terminate and is hogging the resources preventing access from other fixtures."
    Bill: "And how do I fix that?"
    Contractor: "Well, after each flush, you all need to exit the house, turn off the water at the street, turn it back on, reenter the house and then you can get back to work."
    Bill: "That's the last straw. What kind of product are you selling me?
    Contractor: "Hey, if you don't like it nobody made you buy it."
    Bill: "And when will this be fixed?"
    Contractor: "Oh, in your next house -- which will be ready to release sometime near the end of next year. Actually it was due out this year, but we've had some delays...

    Bill Talks with God
    Yeltsin, Clinton and Bill Gates were invited to have dinner with God. During dinner God told them "I need three important figures to send my message out to all people. Tomorrow I will
    destroy the earth".
    Yeltsin immediately called together his cabinet and told them "I have two really bad news items for you:
    1.God really exists and
    2.Tomorrow God will destroy the earth".

    Clinton called an Emergency meeting of the Senate and Congress and told them "I have Good news and Bad News:
    1. God really does exist;
    2. The bad news is tomorrow God's destroying the earth".

    Bill Gates went back to Microsoft and happily announced "I have two fantastic announcements:
    1. I'm one of the three most important people on earth and
    2. The Year 2000 problem is solved".

    Computer Terms Backup - What you do when you run across a skunk.
    Byte - What your pitbull dun to cusin Jethro.
    Cache - Needed when you run out of food stamps.
    Chip - Pasture muffins that you try not to step in.
    Crash - When you go to Junior's party uninvited.
    Digital - The art of counting on your fingers.
    Diskette - Female Disco dancer.
    Fax - What you lie about to the IRS.
    Hacker - Uncle Leroy after 32 years of smoking.
    Hardcopy - Picture looked at when selecting tattoos.
    Internet - Where cafeteria workers put their hair.
    Keyboard - Where you hang the keys to the John Deere.
    Megahertz - How your head feels after 17 beers.
    Modem - What ya do when the grass gets too high.
    Mouse Pad - Where Mickey and Minnie live.
    Network - Scoop'n up a big fish before it breaks the line.
    Online - Where to stay when taking the sobriety test.
    ROM - Where the pope lives.
    Screen - Helps keep the skeeters off the porch.
    Serial Port - A red wine you drink with breakfast.
    SCSI - What you call your week-old underwear.
    Novelties Pie Gates-Download and have fun throwing pies at Bill Gates

    Return to Top
    Return to Joke Directory
    http://www.abaloneweb.com/jokes/abwgatesjokes.htm
     
     
  12. Phantasm66

    Phantasm66 TS Rookie Topic Starter Posts: 6,504   +6

    I heard once that Bill Gates personally writes the text for the error messages..... Not sure if it is true though....
     
  13. Phantasm66

    Phantasm66 TS Rookie Topic Starter Posts: 6,504   +6

    http://www.novellbrainshare.com/portal/content/home_video.jsp

    [​IMG]
     
  14. Phantasm66

    Phantasm66 TS Rookie Topic Starter Posts: 6,504   +6

    Microsoft - Microsoft had a Sandals sweepstakes online (via Microsoft-partner Online Vacation Mall) that specifically excluded gay couples. Within 24 hours of being contacted, Microsoft canceled the sweepstakes, took a prominent Sandals link off of their Web site (it was at http://expedia.msn.com/etn/packages/), promised that the Microsoft logo would never appear on the same page as a Sandals logo or promotion, said that they were immediately dropping Sandals as a member of Expedia (their travel site), and said they would review their entire relationship with Sandals. If they keep their promises, and they have to date, then kudos to Microsoft!

    http://www.wiredstrategies.com/resort.html
     
  15. Phantasm66

    Phantasm66 TS Rookie Topic Starter Posts: 6,504   +6

    Bill Gates letter to Santa

    Dear Santa,
    How are you doing? I hope you've had a successful year and have come up with a lot of interesting toys. It's really neat how you're able to do that year after year. I guess that's how you stay number one in the Christmas presents business.

    Actually, I admire the way you run Christmas. You really have a handle on it. You find out what people want (with letters like this and having kids tell you in person), and then you make the presents and control how they are delivered. It;s an impressive operation. I also like how you've got it to where when somebody says "Christmas presents," people automatically think Santa Claus. What a marketing advantage. Best of all, even though you're a huge success, people still don't know much about your private life. It's just rumors. That's so neat.

    I think being at the North Pole helps. That was a good move. For example, when you're designing toys, only your elves know what you're doing, and you're way up there where nobody can spy on you and steal your ideas. And even if they do, you can always just let it out that you're making the same stuff to bring to people for free, so why would they buy the other guy's stuff?

    Also, other people who make Christmas presents can't deliver them like you can. Yours is the only sleigh on the distribution highway. You must get some great discounts from them, because if they don't play ball you can just refuse to give out their presents. Very Sharp. What I don't get is why you give away stuff. That's the dumbest idea I've ever heard. I admit, its why you're number one- who could compete with a deal like that? But it must make it hard to stay in business, especially when you have to visit every kid in the world. You have to keep growing or fail.

    Here's an idea on how you can help finance your operation: Give everybody at least one battery-operated present at Christmas, then you could make batteries and sell them the rest of the year. It would create a demand: You give people something and then sell them what they need to make it work.

    Another thing, about you coming down the chimney. That's so slow and inefficient. And what about all the people who don't have chimneys, Santa? I have one word for you: windows. Everybody has windows. That's about all I have to say. You're probably wondering if I was good or bad this year, but I don't really like to talk about my personal life, if that's O.K. (Just out of curiosity: When you were a boy, did any of the other kids call you a nerd?) Anyway, I don't really have anything to ask for. Mostly I think up something to play with and then build it myself. I guess I'm sort of like you-- I make my own toys.

    Best of luck,
    Bill Gates
     
  16. Phantasm66

    Phantasm66 TS Rookie Topic Starter Posts: 6,504   +6

  17. Phantasm66

    Phantasm66 TS Rookie Topic Starter Posts: 6,504   +6

  18. Phantasm66

    Phantasm66 TS Rookie Topic Starter Posts: 6,504   +6

  19. Phantasm66

    Phantasm66 TS Rookie Topic Starter Posts: 6,504   +6

    That's Why (You Go Away) - Alanis Morrisette.

    Baby won't you tell me why win95 boot ten times
    I don't wanna say "re-install" to you
    MS is one big illusion I should try to forget
    but there is something left in my drive
    I'm the one who set it up now I'm the one to make it stucks
    C.P.U's feeling lost right now
    Now you want me to delete every files in hard disk
    but there is nothing left in my drive
    Chorus:
    I won't forget the way you're rebooting
    The booting's so slow were lasting for so long
    But I'm the man waiting for re-booting
    That's why you go away I don't know
    You were never satisfied no matter how I buy
    Now you wanna say TEN "G" to me
    MS is one big illusion I should try to forget
    but there is ONE "M" left in my disk

    Chorus:
    Booting here all alone in the middle of no-where
    Don't know which files to load
    There ain't so much to install to patch us
    There ain't so much for "Words"
    There ain't so much for "Office" anymore
     
  20. Phantasm66

    Phantasm66 TS Rookie Topic Starter Posts: 6,504   +6

    On the 1st day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Windows XP for my PC
    On the 2nd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 2 GPFs, and Windows XP for my PC

    On the 3rd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 3 ports not responding, 2 GPFs, and Windows XP for my PC

    On the 4th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 4 sectors bad, 3 ports not responding, 2 GPFs, and Windows XP for my PC

    On the 5th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 5 eighty six, 4 sectors bad, 3 ports not responding, 2 GPFs, and Windows XP for my PC

    On the 6th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 6 ints conflictin', 5 eighty six, 4 sectors bad, 3 ports not responding, 2 GPFs, and Windows XP for my PC

    On the 7th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 7 files missin', 6 ints conflictin', 5 eighty six, 4 sectors bad, 3 ports not responding, 2 GPFs, and Windows XP for my PC

    On the 8th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 8 Megs overflowin', 7 files missin', 6 ints conflictin', 5 eighty six, 4 sectors bad, 3 ports not responding, 2 GPFs, and Windows XP for my PC

    On the 9th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 9 apps a crashin', 8 Megs overflowin', 7 files missin', 6 ints conflictin', 5 eighty six, 4 sectors bad, 3 ports not responding, 2 GPFs, and Windows XP for my PC

    On the 10th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 10 modes not supported, 9 apps a crashin', 8 Megs overflowin', 7 files missin', 6 ints conflictin', 5 eighty six, 4 sectors bad, 3 ports not responding, 2 GPFs, and Windows XP for my PC

    On the 11th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 11 instructions faulty, 10 modes not supported, 9 apps a crashin', 8 Megs overflowin', 7 files missin', 6 ints conflictin', 5 eighty six, 4 sectors bad, 3 ports not responding, 2 GPFs, and Windows XP for my PC

    On the 12th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 12 sound cards silent, 11 instructions faulty, 10 modes not supported, 9 apps a crashin', 8 Megs overflowin', 7 files missin', 6 ints conflictin', 5 eighty six, 4 sectors bad, 3 ports not responding, 2 GPFs, and Windows XP for my PC!


    http://www.thehumorsource.com/Joke.php?ID=366
     
  21. Phantasm66

    Phantasm66 TS Rookie Topic Starter Posts: 6,504   +6

  22. Phantasm66

    Phantasm66 TS Rookie Topic Starter Posts: 6,504   +6

  23. Phantasm66

    Phantasm66 TS Rookie Topic Starter Posts: 6,504   +6

  24. Phantasm66

    Phantasm66 TS Rookie Topic Starter Posts: 6,504   +6

  25. Phantasm66

    Phantasm66 TS Rookie Topic Starter Posts: 6,504   +6

    My PC actually said this recently...

    [​IMG]
     


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