Will you promise to burst in tears if I say no?
As far as I'm concerned they both offer pretty good functionality. Nvidia offer global profiles per game, SLI functionality is packaged with the driver.
AMD offer more tweaking options with regards visuals.
Having said that, the Nvidia kernal has more issues with Abode Flash if it's not kept updated, while AMD's stuck-cursor-in-top-corner is a royal PITA. I personally don't like to be bombarded with advertisements during a driver install.
Having said that:
1. I don't use CCC (although I do install on sytems I build) I variously use Tray Tools and Radeon Pro with the bare AMD driver so seldom have a problem*.
2. I use Nvidia Inspector in conjunction with NCP so seldom have a problem*.
3. My systems are GTX 580 SLI and HD 5850 CFX - I generally have no use for MLAA with the latter setup.
4. I would defy any average gamer to discern the difference between AA levels above 4 MSAA.
5. Neither AMD nor Nvidia have a handle on driver forced AA.
* If a particular AA/AF/HDR etc issue bugs me to any great extent (that a third party toolbox can't remedy) then I look for a registry edit...and if that doesn't work, well tough **** - thats PC gaming for ya. What I don't do is hit the general forums bleating about how one product is better than another in the face of contrary and irrefutable evidence...but then looking like a d1ck isn't high on my "must do" list tbh.
The Tom's article pretty much debunked half your initial rant straight off the bat, so why you insist on persevering with the argument leads me to believe that an argument is just what you want/require.
So, if you're unhappy with Nvidia's drivers, by all means switch to AMD- I'm sure you'll be very satisfied.