Time to start the anti-Microsoft legal fund. It must be possible to sue
them for some of the blatant lies they are FUDing.

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From: Robert Elliott [SMTP:rde@irelands-web.ie]
Sent: 29 March 1999 12:58
To: ilug@linux.ie
Subject: [ILUG] Linux sux: Microsoft

In a move that frankly shocked me, Microsoft's propaganda wing, Slate,
published two users' points of view on installing linux. Their opinion?
It's not as good as windows. For anything. It's good as a web server,
but you're never going to get it up and running unless you're a complete
nerd.
....

http://www.linux.ie/pipermail/ilug/1...ch/000054.html

Other Anagrams Internet Explorer =
Next? Enter or peril.
Error: Next line, pet.

Microsoft Internet Explorer = Not complex? It isn't error-free.

Microsoft Office = Is of comic effort.

Microsoft Windows =
If it now crow: "MSDOS".
Conformist widows.

We must not forget that Intel Pentium is a
LIMP TEEN UNIT
and that the chance of one actually performing is like a
NINE MILE PUTT
so what's the best solution?
I LET MINE PUNT!

Pentium Processor =
Super-moronic pest! (from Richard Grantham)

Microsoft Encarta =
Moronic artefacts. (from Richard Grantham)

Windows ... The Next GenerationPicard: "Data... I understand that you have installed the latest version of Windows 95 into your positronic brain. Was this wise to do?"

Data: "I am functioning within normal parameters."

Picard: "Fine... Please calculate the success percentage of our latest mission."

Data: "Yes, sir."

(5 minutes later)

Picard: "Mister Data... I asked you for that percentage."

Data: "I am performing the task you have ordered, sir."

Picard: "Well then... what's taking so long?"
Data: "I no longer function at the speed levels I used to, sir. However, I am much cheaper to upgrade."

Picard: "Are you saying that you sacrificed what you had before to change to this new system? That's MAD! Why did you do this?"

Data: "The sales-people at Microsoft were very convincing, sir."

Picard: "I hope that you at least have a backup!!"

Data: "Yes, sir. Is that really necessary, sir?"

Picard: "Well, of course it is! Wouldn't restoring your old system be the logical thing to do??!!"

Data: "Logic, sir? I apologize... all logic was thrown out when Windows 95 went in..."

MICROSOFT -- Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers

WINDOWS -- Will Install Needless Data On Whole System

PENTIUM -- Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of Mathematics

IBM -- I Blame Microsoft

DOS -- Defective Operating System

BASIC -- Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control

PCMCIA -- People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms

Bill Gates Wealth IndexMost people will have read the recent reports of how Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates has had his personal net worth soar over 40 billion dollars. He certainly knows how to make money.

Consider that he made this money in the 22 years or so since Microsoft was founded in 1975. If you presume that he has worked 14 hours a day on every business day of the year since then, that means he's been making money at a staggering half-million dollars per hour, *around $150 per second.*

Which means that if, on his way into the office, should he see or drop a $500 bill on the ground, it's just not worth his time to bend over and pick it up. He would make more just heading off to work.

We're assuming about 4 seconds to bend down and pocket the bill. Of course he can afford to hire people to follow him and pick up any $500 bills he may drop. Not that he would, fortunately he doesn't quite think of his wealth or time this way.

When I first calculated this, it was only a $20 bill, and then for some time it was a $100 bill. I remember speaking to him at a conference some years ago thinking, "$31 per second, $31 per second" as we talked. I didn't mention this.
It's perhaps more disturbing to look at the slope of his appreciation this year. From January to July he's gained some $16 Billion, meaning that at the rate he's going, if he sees a $10,000 bill, he's just as well to pass it by. (They do exist, but he won't see one until he buys the U.S. treasury -- they are not circulated. Salmon Chase, former secretary of the treasury and chief justice, is on it.) If it's a pile of cash he has to count, it's even worse. At $2,500 per second so far this year, they would have to be thousand-dollar Bills -- and he would need to have a quick hand -- to avoid him losing the money in wasted time while he's counting them. Counting $500 bills would be very unprofitable.

The "Too-small-a-bill-for-Bill" index has gone up quite a bit over the years. When Microsoft went public in 1986, the new multimillionaire only had to leave behind $5 bills.

In the HTML version you will find a chart of the amount of currency it's not been worth Mr. Gates' time to pick up off the ground over the years, based on his current 281 million shares of Microsoft (he hasn't sold many) and the split-adjusted stock price courtesy of Microsoft's own web site. The spreadsheet (Excel of course) is there too.

There's some really funny posts there Phantasm..Its amazing how much is out there making fun of Bill Gates and M$.

Have a nice flight..

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