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Microsoft Jokes

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Phantasm66, Mar 31, 2002.

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Page 4 of 7

  1. Phantasm66 Newcomer, in training Posts: 6,504

    Would YOU want to get on a plane who's air traffic control was run on an MS server...????

    Not me..... Its funny enough when the domain controllers crash here at work in the university and 1000 students can't log on.

    However planes have not been known to bounce off of mountains, etc....
    Phantasm66, Apr 3, 2002
    #61

  2. Mictlantecuhtli TS Special Forces Posts: 4,916   +9

    "640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981

    "If you can't make it good, make it LOOK good." - Bill Gates


    "I believe OS/2 is destined to be the most important operating

    system, and possible program, of all time." - Bill Gates, 1987


    "OS/2 is destined to be a very important piece of software. During the

    next 10 years, millions of programmers and users will utilize this

    system." Bill Gates, 1988


    "In fact, I don't think 7-11s even take coupons. I should check that

    out..." - Bill Gates, 1992


    "While we liked developing Windows applications, we never inhaled."

    - Philippe Kahn, 1992


    "New GUIs from IBM and NeXT make Windows look old hat."

    - Datamation, 1992


    " Why are manhole covers round?

    How many gas stations are there in the U.S.?"

    - Interview questions asked by Microsoft, 1992


    (Dos + Windows + ATM) < OS/2 2.0!


    2.0 is better than 1.


    Air conditioned environment - Do not open Windows.


    Bugs come in through open Windows.


    Dogs crawl under gates, software crawls under Windows!


    Don't be held back by yesterday's DOS! Try today's OS/2!


    Dos: Venerable. Windows: Vulnerable. OS/2: Viable.


    Scanning for Viruses...Windows Found! Please Remove.


    DOS=HIGH? I knew it was on something...


    Double your drive space! Delete Windows!


    Friends don't let friends use Windows.


    Have you crashed your Windows today?


    He who laughs last uses OS/2.


    How do you make Windows faster? Throw it harder!


    How do you spell relief? OS/2!


    I don't do Windows, but OS/2 does.


    I love running Windows! NOT!


    I smashed a Window and saw... *OS/2*


    I use OS/2 2.0 and I don't care who knows!


    If at first you don't succeed, work for Microsoft.


    If Windows sucked it would be good for something.


    If you want it done right, forget Microsoft.


    It takes 2.0, baby, it takes 2.0...


    MASOCHIST: Windows SDK programmer with a smile!


    My best view from a Window was through OS/2.


    One man's Windows are another man's walls.


    OS/2: Your brain. Windows: Your brain on drugs.


    See the Future; See OS/2. Be the Future; Run OS/2.


    The best way to accelerate Windows is at escape velocity.


    To whom the gods destroy, they first teach Windows...


    Turn your 486 into a Gameboy: Type WIN at C:\>


    Wait for OS/2 2.0 - the best Windows tip around!


    Walk through doors, don't crawl through Windows.


    What I like about MS is its loyalty to customers!


    What's so great that people are switching to Windows?


    What?!? DOSSHELL *isn't* supposed to be a joke?


    When DOS grows up it wants to be OS/2!


    Why look thru Windows? Open the door to the future: OS/2


    WindowError:001 Windows loaded. System in danger.

    WindowError:002 No error . . . yet.

    WindowError:003 Dynamic linking error. Your mistake is now in every

    file.

    WindowError:004 Erronious error. Nothing wrong.

    WindowError:005 Multitasking attempted. System confused.

    WindowError:006 Malicous error. Desqview found on drive.

    WindowError:007 System price error. Inadequate money spent.

    WindowError:008 Broken window. Watch for glass fragments.

    WindowError:009 Horrible bug encounterd. God knows what has happened.

    WindowError:00A Promotional literature overflow. Mailbox full.

    WindowError:00B Inadequate disk space. Need 50 meg minimum.

    WindowError:00C Memory hog error. More ram needed. More! More!

    WindowError:00D Window closed. Do not look out.

    WindowError:00E Window open, do not loo in.

    WindowError:00F Unexplaind error. Please tell us how it happened.

    WindowError:010 Reserved for future mistakes

    WindowError:014 Nonexisent error. This cannot really be happening.

    WindowError:015 Unable to exit windows. Try the door.

    WindowError:016 Door locked. Try control-alt-delete

    WindowError:017 Keyboard locked. Try anything you can think of.

    WindowError:018 Unrecoverable error. System destroyed.

    WindowError:019 User error. It's not our fault. Is not! Is not!

    WindowError:01A Oprating system overwritten. Terribly sorry.

    WindowError:01B Illegal error. Do not get this error.

    WindowError:01C Uncertainty error. Uncertainty may be inadequate.

    WindowError:01D Unable to figure out our own code. System crashed.

    WindowError:01E Timing error. Please wait. And wait. And wait.

    WindowError:01F Reserved for future mistakes

    WindowError:020 Error recording error codes. Remaining errors lost.


    Windows 3.1 - The Best $89 Solitaire Game You can Buy!


    Windows = Training wheels for OS/2!


    Windows = Turn a 386/25 into a 4.77 Mhz XT


    Windows is a pane


    Windows is great if you can make it work.


    Windows is to OS/2 what Etch-a-Sketch is to art.


    Windows isn't crippleware: it's "Functionally Challenged"


    Windows NT: From the makers of Windows 3.0!


    Windows NT: Vapourware of the desperate and scared.


    Windows NT? New Technology? I don't think so...


    Windows NT? Want to run it? Check IEEE Spectrum "TERAFLOPS GALORE."


    Windows: A View to be Killed.


    Windows: an Unrecoverable Acquisition Error!


    Windows: From the people who brought you EDLIN!


    Windows: Just another pane in the glass.


    Windows: The CP/M of the future!


    Windows: The Gates of hell.


    Windows? Homey don't play that!


    Windows? WINDOWS?!? Hahahahahehehehehohohoho...


    Windws is ine for bckgroun comunicaions


    You're throwing it all out the Windows!
    Mictlantecuhtli, Apr 7, 2002
    #62

  3. XYZ359 Newcomer, in training Posts: 123

    Heh, the best joke that I've read on this post was the one with Startrek with the Enterprise and the Borg. Heh...

    :grinthumb
    XYZ359, Apr 7, 2002
    #63

  4. Mac_Bug Newcomer, in training Posts: 62

    Gates never actually said that
    Mac_Bug, Apr 8, 2002
    #64

  5. Mictlantecuhtli TS Special Forces Posts: 4,916   +9

    Well, I'm not sure if this is a joke, but still:
    In NT5 command prompt (ie. Win2k/XP) try the following:
    dir com1
    or com2-9.
    :giddy:
    Mictlantecuhtli, May 4, 2002
    #65

  6. StormBringer Newcomer, in training Posts: 2,871

    I don't remember his actual words but they were something similar like: No applications will ever require users to need more than 640K of memory. So in essence, yes he did say that. I have several textbooks and manuals that reference that.
    StormBringer, May 4, 2002
    #66
     

  7. Mac_Bug Newcomer, in training Posts: 62

    You can find your answer here:

    http://www.nybooks.com/articles/15180#fn*

    In short, it was the 20 bit addressing that allowed the maximum limit to be 1 megabyte, and IBM had specified to use 640k and up for other stuff.

    Note that the article indicated that Gates wrote the email denying EVER saying that quote.

    The reason why this is a big 'myth' in the first place, is precisely the misconception that everyone took to be true. So yeah, you can find that in a lot of technical books as a joke on Gates, some even use it to show the advancement in technology and our needs. But in reality, who first quoted him on that? Where and when was he quoted in saying that? And who has any proof? And most importantly, in what context?
    Mac_Bug, May 4, 2002
    #67

  8. eddy05 Newcomer, in training Posts: 223

    WoW I loved this post, absolutely.

    Attached Files:

    • 677.jpg
      677.jpg
      File size:
      25 KB
      Views:
      110
    eddy05, May 5, 2002
    #68

  9. SleeperDC Newcomer, in training Posts: 193

    WindowsXP

    Attached Files:

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      xp.jpg
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      39.9 KB
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    SleeperDC, May 5, 2002
    #69

  10. PHATMAN5050 Newcomer, in training Posts: 645

    lmao sleeper, thats great!
    PHATMAN5050, May 5, 2002
    #70

  11. Vehementi TechSpot Paladin Posts: 3,199

    [IMG]
    Vehementi, Jun 16, 2002
    #71

  12. Mictlantecuhtli TS Special Forces Posts: 4,916   +9

    Sysinternals' BSOD Screen Saver
    Mictlantecuhtli, Aug 21, 2002
    #72

  13. eddy05 Newcomer, in training Posts: 223

    Cool.

    I scared my classmate to death when I played the BSOD prank on the lab PCs :D
    eddy05, Aug 28, 2002
    #73

  14. Mictlantecuhtli TS Special Forces Posts: 4,916   +9

    [IMG]
    Mictlantecuhtli, Sep 7, 2002
    #74

  15. Mictlantecuhtli TS Special Forces Posts: 4,916   +9

    [IMG]
    Mictlantecuhtli, Sep 17, 2002
    #75

  16. cabrone Newcomer, in training Posts: 166

    lol, i laugh at the blue screen on that big ad in the city, it reminds me of something that happened while i was at church this past sunday..

    we have 2 screens that project the song lyrics during singing and power point presentation during the sermon. During this sunday we were singing and the screen just crashed to a blue screen, powerpoint had crashed it i guess... lol
    cabrone, Sep 17, 2002
    #76

  17. Mictlantecuhtli TS Special Forces Posts: 4,916   +9

    Mictlantecuhtli, Sep 19, 2002
    #77

  18. cabrone Newcomer, in training Posts: 166

    lol went there, what am i supposed to look for?
    cabrone, Sep 19, 2002
    #78

  19. Phantasm66 Newcomer, in training Posts: 6,504

    Hehehehe I liked that Michtlan... heheh....

    Cabrone - I hope you are kidding. Otherwise you are a true ******* ;)
    Phantasm66, Sep 19, 2002
    #79

  20. MYOB Newcomer, in training Posts: 527

    MYOB, Sep 20, 2002
    #80
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