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Your mama is so fat jokes

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  #1  
Old 04-06-2006
Tedster's Avatar
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Your mama is so fat jokes

Your Mama So Fat
when she step on the Weight Scales it says...'to be continued'...

she once went on a seafood diet...whenever she saw food she ate it!

folk exercise by jogging around her!

when she bends over, we enter Daylight Saving Time.

she sat on a Nintendo Gamecube and it turned into a gameboy

she make Kiko the Whale look like a Smartie

NASA plan to use her to shore up the hole in the Ozone layer

she was measured at 38-26-36 and that was just the left arm...

small objects orbit her.

she make olympic sumo wrestlers look anorexic.

when I tell her to haul ***, she gotta make two trips.

when she farted she launched herself into orbit.

she lost a game at Hide&Seek only cos I spotted her...behind Mount Everest.

when I had to swerve to avoid hitting her on the road I ran out of Petrol!

she could be the eighth continent.

she nearly put Safeway out of business

the only thing that's attracted to her is gravity.

her graduation photo was an aerial

when she auditioned for a part in Raiders of the Lost Ark she got the part of the big Rolling Ball.

she make Jabba the Hutt look anorexic.

her fave food is seconds.

her belt size is Equator.

she eats Desert out of a Trash Can lid

she wears an 'X' jacket and Copters attempt to land on her

she shows up on radar.

she needs a map to find her ****.

she fell into the Grand Canyon....and got stuck!

she wears an asteroid belt.

her Passport photo says 'Picture is continued on next page"'

she has TB ... 2 bellys.

she's once, twice, three times a lady.

she was in the Daily Record last week on page 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9.

the circus use her as a trampoline

stunt agencies use her as an air mattress

when she opens the Fridge it says - 'I give up...'

she got a new gig at the Cinema...she works as the screen

she once told me 'I could eat a horse'...believe me, she wasn't kidding!

she deep fries her toothpaste.

Last edited by Tedster; 04-07-2006 at 11:27 AM.
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  #2  
Old 04-06-2006
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Location: U.K
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She watches the sunrise in the morning,then turns round,and watches it set.
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  #3  
Old 04-06-2006
Tedster's Avatar
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your mama's so fat, the label on her shirt says TXF

-triple extra fat
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  #4  
Old 04-06-2006
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She goes beep beep when she walks backwards.
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  #5  
Old 04-07-2006
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You're momma is so fat that when people see her in yellow they yell

Taxi!!!!

Last edited by CrossFire851; 04-07-2006 at 08:52 PM. Reason: Teddser got all bent over for not spelling taxi right. Gosh
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  #6  
Old 04-07-2006
Tedster's Avatar
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Location: Talil, Iraq
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your mama is so fat.....

... when she stands, there's an eclipse.

...when she farts, it's a catagory 5

...when I climbed on top, I got snow on my rear

...when I'm on top, oxygen masks are required.

...her dress is made by industrial tent and awning

Last edited by Tedster; 04-07-2006 at 11:26 AM.
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  #7  
Old 04-07-2006
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yo mama is so fat she looks like she is smuggeling volkswagons

yo mama is so fat the back of her neck looks like a package of weeners..
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  #8  
Old 04-07-2006
Tedster's Avatar
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CrossFire851
You're momma is so fat that when people see her in yellow they yell

Taksi!!!!
taksi?

taxi?
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  #9  
Old 04-07-2006
OpTiMuSpRiMe's Avatar
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lol that is just too funny man...taksii lol tedster good eye
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  #10  
Old 04-07-2006
Tedster's Avatar
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Location: Talil, Iraq
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your mama is SO fat...

...she wears a hula-hoop for a ring

...when she flicks a boogie, people yell meteor!

...her feet are in a different voting district

...her bvtt got her own zip code

...her muscle to fat ratio uses irrational numbers.

...she was picked up by a crane and used as a wrecking ball

...she opened her legs and peple thought the Grand Canyon had moved

...she thought a Big Mac was a fat pimp

...she gotta have a pilot car when she walks on the street

...people jog around her for exercise!

...when she went to the zoo she was adopted by the Hippos

...she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.

...she stepped on a dollar and made change.

...she sat on a lump of charcoal and made a diamond

...she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu and says 'OK!'!

...you have to have rodeo clowns distract her when you bring in the groceries.

...she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller.

...when she bungie jumps, she brings down the bridge too.

...she uses brawney quicker-picker upper for toilet paper

Last edited by Tedster; 04-10-2006 at 07:20 PM.
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  #11  
Old 04-07-2006
CrossFire851's Avatar
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Location: Cali
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tedster
taksi?

taxi?

I did it when I was tired, sry, gosh
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  #12  
Old 04-08-2006
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Location: Deserts of, Ariz.
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your mama is so fat

She moonlights as a Naval Anchor....................................on an AirCraft Carrier

Your mama so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!

Your mama so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the her good side!

Your mama so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of george washington's nose.

Your mama so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her back in the ocean!

Your mama so fat she, when you kissed her "night night" you got the stretch marks on your lips!
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  #13  
Old 04-08-2006
CrossFire851's Avatar
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Location: Cali
Member since: Oct 2005, 1,055 posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by CrossFire851
You're momma is so fat that when people see her in yellow they yell

Taxi!!!!

It's funny that way anyways.
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  #14  
Old 04-08-2006
Tedster's Avatar
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Location: Talil, Iraq
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your mama so fat...

...she uses a lawnmower to trim her crotch hair!

...you can plant flowers in her belly button

Last edited by Tedster; 04-08-2006 at 02:09 PM.
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  #15  
Old 04-10-2006
kirock's Avatar
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Location: Hamilton, Canada
Member since: Jul 2005, 1,594 posts
your mama so fat...

When she stands on a corner the police tell her to "Break it up!"
She thinks elevators only go down.
She thinks Thanks Giving is her birthday.
To her all underwear come in one style: Thong.
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  #16  
Old 04-10-2006
Peddant's Avatar
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tedster
taksi? taxi?
Taksi is Norwegian for Taxi - http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/taksi CrossFire851 didn`t state explicitly that he was referring to Norwegian people,but I think the implication was clear.
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  #17  
Old 04-10-2006
SOcRatEs's Avatar
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Location: Deserts of, Ariz.
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your mama is so fat
Not even a joke about her will fit on this post
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  #18  
Old 04-10-2006
Tedster's Avatar
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Location: Talil, Iraq
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Peddant
Taksi is Norwegian for Taxi - http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/taksi CrossFire851 didn`t state explicitly that he was referring to Norwegian people,but I think the implication was clear.
wouldn't have known......
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  #19  
Old 04-10-2006
Peddant's Avatar
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Location: U.K
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tedster
wouldn't have known......
I think I might have been joking
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  #20  
Old 04-10-2006
Tedster's Avatar
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Location: Talil, Iraq
Member since: Feb 2005, 8,776 posts
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yo mama so fat.....

...she got shoes with a spare heel

... the refrigerator door got heavy hinges

... the all-you-can-eat buffet went out of business

... the toliet is made of granite

... the radio station put a repeater on her belly

...when I climb down I got to adjust the carburateur

Last edited by Tedster; 04-10-2006 at 07:28 PM.
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