Teen sets new Guinness World Record as fastest texter

Shawn Knight

Posts: 12,795   +124
Staff member
A 17-year-old from Brazil is now the world's fastest texter according to the Guinness Book of World Records, edging out the previous record of 18.44 seconds - held by another teen - with a time of 18.19 seconds.

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WOW, A WHOLE QUARTER OF A SECOND DIFFERENCE. AMAZING. COLOSSAL.

"...earned the record...". Oh yes. So record-holding has acquired the connotation of "earned", of real effort expended to 'achieve' a goal, as a means of acquiring distinction, however inane.

I submit that The Guinness Book of World Records has sadly neglected the entire segment of hundreds of people throughout the globe who save their boogers from life-long habits of nose picking. We should demand they ought to find the known world record holder for most poundage saved from their nostrils. Its a scandalous shame that these people have been at it for millennia while casting the spotlight on ***** texting teens incapable of communicating anything as important as nose picking.
 
This was hilarious: "...he honed his typing skills after smashing his faulty laptop in 2009 at which point he had to rely on his iPhone 3GS".

Poor thing.

Its just so hard to deal with faulty reality. Its tragic.

Yep. Best response is to smash it. And look for another toy.
 
G

Guest

This is great breakthrough! one day we might replace processors with such kids!
 

Skidmarksdeluxe

Posts: 8,645   +3,288
I'm sensing a lot of dismissiveness from you folks here. Now wouldn't you lot be absolutely ecstatic and proud to be the holder of such an important, ground breaking record? :p
 
G

Guest

"I hope he doesn't break that girls teeth when he kisses her"

no unless he kisses her repeatedly with his blazing fast fingers..
 
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G

Guest

The excessively large gums on that lady made me not notice how squmby looking the dork was.
 

cliffordcooley

Posts: 12,581   +5,960
The excessively large gums on that lady made me not notice how squmby looking the dork was.
You should be happy with the way you are, not pointing out the obvious of how different others are. We already know everyone is different! Get off your high pedestal and look at people from eye level.
 
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captaincranky

Posts: 16,300   +5,085
I'm sensing a lot of dismissiveness from you folks here. Now wouldn't you lot be absolutely ecstatic and proud to be the holder of such an important, ground breaking record? :p
Well, myself, I'm striking off in a different direction, but I'd like ta hold a world record nonetheless.

Soooo, I'm a gonna eat a couple pounds of raw clams, drink a quart or two of some cheap malt liquor, and scarf down a pound of ball bearings. If'n that don't earn me the Guinness world record for projectile farting, nuthin' will! :eek:

Maybe I'll spray somebody's smart phone while I'm at it, and take home the texting record along with it. (y)

You gotta admit, that would bring a whole new, ever so much more disgusting dimension, to the term, "butt dialing"....;)
 
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captaincranky

Posts: 16,300   +5,085
You should be happy with the way you are, not pointing out the obvious of how different others are. We already know everyone is different! Get off your high pedestal and look at people from eye level.
You should most probably take a bit of your own, "good counsel", and step away from your pulpit....:p