I'm back.
So I went through the RMA process with AlthonMicro and they shipped me back another gpu. Same as the one I had prior but with a different serial number. I popped it in and made sure all the drivers were solid and for a minute it seemed okay.
On the second day of having it in (didn't use it much the first day) something strange happened while I was playing Civ V. Windows made a beep tone. It's the beep noise it makes when you plug in a new device. I was startled so I closed down civ entirely to see what had happened. Nothing was there though. No pop-up. No indication of anything that I could see. So I just walked away. Next time using the computer it was fine for about half an hour. But then it did it again. This time it made the beep noise, and the screen flashed black but only for an instant. I opened up the AMD settings to see what I could find and I realized that it was giving me an "eyefinity" option that I didn't recognize seeing before. Then the beep happened again and the screen flashed black and the mouse moved. The eyefinity option was gone. I opened up the display tab and noticed that it listed my monitor as "Display 2."
Long story short. The computer constantly and incessantly beeps and flashes and seems to be detecting a non-existent display plugged into one of the displayports on the gpu. Even worse though it seems to be slipping in and out somehow, so every 30 seconds or so the display is gone, and then back, and then gone, and then back. And it just keeps happening over and over again to the point where the screen flashes very frequently. It even caused the AMD settings application to "not respond" and windows force closed it.
I have contacted Sapphire again to let them know, but I figured in the mean time I'd see if I could find something out myself. I haven't been able to find a single instance of anyone experiencing the same issue (sloppy google skills may be the culprit) so I figured I'd come back here.
If I should move this to an entirely new post on this forum I can do that, instead of necro-ing this one.
Thanks.
Edit: the eyefinity thing I mention is apparently an AMD option for when you are using multiple displays. Just to clarify.
Edit 2: I also added a screenshot of the AMD settings showing TWO separate displays. The second one with the HDMI is my monitor that I've always used. The first one is the weird "ghost" display. I obviously have nothing, nor have I ever had anything, plugged in to the ports besides my monitor. As an aside, windows itself also recognizes that there are two displays, but it won't let me change or edit the "ghost" one. All of the options are grayed and locked. It won't let me access it at all.