Culture The seductive nature of the Internet [comic]


TS Evangelist
Someone told me his hard disk was full. His nephew had installed something that would make it larger and had muttered something confusing about slaves and jumpers. But the hard disk, it seemed, was "still full."
My first thought was that his nephew had installed an additional hard disk, and the guy got confused about drive letters. But it was worse. He had an 80 GB hard disk with 6 GB used, plus an additional 250 GB hard disk, which was completely empty.
I asked him why he thought his hard disk was full. He said, "But can't you see? There's no free space!" And, really, there was no free space -- not a single inch of free space -- on his desktop.
I gave him a higher screen resolution and put a handful of folders on his desktop. I told him I installed some "drawers" so he had more space. Now he's happy.
  • Tech Support: "All double-click on the File Manager icon."
  • Customer: "That's why I hate this Windows -- because of the icons -- I'm a Protestant, and I don't believe in icons."
  • Tech Support: "Well, that's just an industry term sir. I don't believe it was meant to --"
  • Customer: "I don't care about any 'Industry Terms'. I don't believe in icons."
  • Tech Support: "Well...why don't you click on the 'little picture' of a file 'little picture' ok?"
  • Customer: [click]


TS Evangelist
  • Customer: "What does 'dual-core' mean?"
  • Salesman: "It basically means you have two computers in one. It also means you can plug your laptop into it."

  • Customer: "Excuse me what is the difference in quality between my current digital camera [model number] and this one [priced $600 higher] here?"
  • Sales Clerk: "Well, they're exactly the same, basically."
  • Customer: "Well, when I watch these video files on my computer, it just doesn't look as clear as I want it to be."
  • Sales Clerk: "Oh wait, are you using USB to transfer the files?"
  • Customer: "Yes, I am."
  • Sales Clerk: "Oh, that's probably why! Using USB to transfer is slow. You should use firewire."
  • Customer: "Oh, I thought that that just affects the speed."
  • Sales Clerk: "No, it's the quality. Because you can't transfer as much, so it loses quality."
The clerk spends a whole minute explaining how USB transferring is some sort of bottleneck affect and even use his hands to show the bottleneck effect.
  • Customer: "So are you saying that when my camera records data on to its hard drive, and then that data is transferred to my computer, the data is re-encoded and loses size?"
  • Sales Clerk: "Yes, it does. It's to do with the speed of the cable. You can ask one of the computer guys in the computer section. They'll say the same thing.":D
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TS Evangelist
Customer: "My system's on fire. What do I do?"

  • Customer: "My terminal is smoking and shooting sparks. Should I unplug it?"

  • Tech Support: "Hello, tech support, may I help you?"
  • Customer: (in a thick Russian accent) "Yes. Monitor is working fine but has sparks and smoke flying out back. Is ok?"
  • Tech Support: (blink)

  • Customer: "Hi, um, my printer smells funny, and it's smoking."
  • Me: "Did you turn it off?"
  • Customer: "Well, no, I was told never to turn it off without running it through shutdown, and it won't go through shutdown."