My point was and still is that no one pretended and that's what it is, make believe, that those people were actually the opposite gender. I'm sorry but DNA has made a binary choice, you are XX or XY, that's it. You make health decisions based on that. Making doctors pretend otherwise and ask men if they have ever been pregnant is a denial of reality.
One nuance missing from this discussion (how did we get so far away from the actual subject already) is the difference between
gender and sex.
For all intents and purposes, sex is biological and binary - you have sperm or eggs, and there's nothing in between, although obviously there can be differences that mean some female physical attributes appear on males and vice versa, although these are very rare.
Gender is a social construct, and people sometimes identify as non-binary, or with a gender that does not match their sex - gender dysphoria as it is known. It's not a disorder, it's part of who the person is, and by far the least harmful outcome is to embrace it. Often it disappears with puberty, but sometimes not, and if it doesn't, hormone therapy or even surgery can improve the person's sense of self-worth and life outcomes.
NHS page on gender dysphoria is a good summary:
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/gender-dysphoria/
The key takeaway here is that man and woman are
gender terms, whereas male and female are
sex terms. So if you're saying trans women are not women, it's fair cop to be called a bigot, but if you're saying trans women are not female, that's a factual and fair statement.
I think at the extremes we can have people arguing against science in the noble but misguided interest of not offending trans people, but really it's just a matter of using the right language. So long as we use their preferred pronouns, embrace who they are, and respect them as people, I don't think any reasonable trans person would take issue with the fact that they were born a different sex to their gender, so long as you weren't trying to use it against them in some way.
But this is actually quite common - society is constructed around binary cis-gendered norms, which creates a lot of awkward situations for trans people.
The hyperbolic situation of doctors being forced to ask men if they are pregnant is easily avoided by asking if they were born the sex of their gender identity beforehand, and only asking if they were born female. To me this is a storm in a teacup.
Issues of women's bathrooms can be thorny. I lean strongly on the side of gender identity here - nothing physically stops a cis man from walking into a women's bathroom, so it's not like allowing trans women makes cis women less safe. Some may feel uncomfortable, but that's not the fault of trans women.
Another thorny issue is on medical wards. It probably depends on what they're in hospital for, and whether their treatment depends on their sex, but I'd support any decision made with patient welfare as the overriding principle, even if the patient objected.
Trans women in sports is a real tough one - no easy answer. I'm sympathetic to the argument that they can have an unfair physical advantage, but also to the argument that they should be able to compete as who they are - women. The third option of creating their own category isn't really fair either - they wouldn't have access to the funding or publicity that cis-gendered athletes do. But the degree of physical advantage varies depending on the sport, so it's probably one best left to the individual sporting bodies.