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A loss of a special friend

By Zen · 24 replies
Mar 14, 2012
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  1. Sorry I've been off the forum for over a week, but I've been dealing with something that has hit me hard. A week ago, I had to make a very tough choice and have my cat put to sleep. I tried my best to nurse mate him through what I thought at the time was simple sickness. But after the third day of my cat just laying around, weak, not eating, barely drinking and not peeing, I took him to the vet. After some x-rays and blood tests and an exam, the vet comes back on me "critical kidney failure"!

    So after the verdict of what had my cat by deaths neck, the vet started popping out money numbers, the least being $1500.00 to just flush him out and a whooping $2700.00 to $3000.00 for the flush, minor surgery, medications, anti-bionics and catheter treatments. I'm not made of money, plus money lately hasn't been flowing into my bank account as easy as it once did. The Vet told me bluntly "make the choice now, for your cat possibly only has a couple of hours left to live"! Knowing I only had a couple bucks in my account and only a 20% chance of recovery after the treatment, I made the hard choice to have Smokey put to sleep.

    I did my best, towards the last couple final day's, I had been up almost 50 hours straight tending to his needs and the fact that I didn't want to go to sleep and have my little guy die while I slept. I kept squirting pedialyte with a oral syringe into his mouth ever so often to try and hydrate him, but my best efforts were not enough.

    I know he is in a better spot, I know he's no longer suffering, I'm happy for those facts, but I just can't get over this guilt I'm feeling. I couldn't afford to do what was needed for him and I feel guilty about that. I loved him so much, he had been apart of my life for slightly over 11 years.

    All I can do is look up into the sky and keep saying "I'm sorry"!

    This was Smokey, not just a cat, but a loyal little buddy.........

    Love you big guy, my Son and I miss you! :(
    Marnomancer likes this.
  2. cliffordcooley

    cliffordcooley TS Guardian Fighter Posts: 9,161   +3,259

    Sorry for your loss, Zen. :(
  3. Matthew

    Matthew TechSpot Staff Posts: 5,311   +100

    :( I've lost a few cats and dogs. It's always the toughest part about pet ownership. I'm sorry for your loss.
  4. Archean

    Archean TechSpot Paladin Posts: 5,690   +95

    Sad news indeed, but as you said he is in peace & a better place now.
  5. Benny26

    Benny26 TechSpot Paladin Posts: 1,535   +50

    Damn, that's sad. :( I have a cat that i found as a stray kitten 8 years ago. I would hate it if anything happened to him like this.
  6. Zen

    Zen TechSpot Paladin Topic Starter Posts: 861   +48

    Yes Benny, it's sad, normally I can pull my head out of butt with most problems I face in life, and bounce back rather fast, but this one still has me. The flooding type's of emotions have subsided, it's just the little things that get me down a bit. I still catch myself doing some of the things that were done at the time of my cat being alive. It took me a couple days alone to stop putting two food dishes down onto the floor, when I only needed one. When sitting in my living room easy chair I find it a tad bit rough, for my lap, in my chair was prime real estate to Smokey! When in the kitchen preparing foods, if any of those foods require the opening of a peal back pop off lid, that sound would get Smokey coming, "pop" *waits for like 10 seconds* "you better not even think about not giving me some of that"! :)

    Plus Smokey left behind his little 1.5 year old Sister cat. She is acting pretty good now, but for the first 2-3-4 days after, she was a nut case. Always searching the house, crying a bit, sniffing all around, I think around day 4-5 she passed out almost dead to the world, probably due to sleep deprivation alone. But she's not scouting the house as much now, she's back to eating her normal portions, and once again drinking from the toilet bowl.

    I know like with all things, this to shall pass, life will go on, the now strange void will be eased and maybe something new will fill the void down the road. This just puzzles me, for as a former Solider I had dealt with the deaths of humans pretty well, I wouldn't say it was a "walk in the park", but more easy to mentally compartmentalize. But this soft spot I have for animals, especially cat's, this is harder to deal with.

    But thank you to everyone who has responded so far, I very much appreciate it! :)
  7. learninmypc

    learninmypc TS Evangelist Posts: 7,281   +372

    :( So sorry to hear that. I had a cat back in the mid 80's that looked very similiar to yours. I spoiled her rotten. Twice a month on pay day we both enjoyed a steak dinner.
    I mis understood the weather forecast one night & turned my electric heater on.
    I returned from my night shift job as a janitor in a major theatre chain only to find my apt. door had been removed,turned inside out because my electric heater caused a fire. My little Garfield, very pregnant, didn't make it.:(
    I was & still am very upset about it.
    I wish you the best.
  8. Zen

    Zen TechSpot Paladin Topic Starter Posts: 861   +48

    I think it's safe to say that even with as long as it's been, why don't we just go ahead and at the same time "wish each other the best"! :)

    Man, between your story and mine it sure would make a good country western song! I'm not making lite or funny of things saying it would make a song, it's just most country songs I hear are littered with sad tales. :(

    But thank you for your words.....
  9. learninmypc

    learninmypc TS Evangelist Posts: 7,281   +372

    You're welcome.
    Although I don't care for country music, I'll let that slide for now. I'll confess,I saw your picture & the tears started flowing.
    One of the reasons I never liked country music is because they're usually about 3 way love affairs gone bad.
    Anyhow Zen,take care. We know how we feel.
  10. Marnomancer

    Marnomancer TS Booster Posts: 723   +51

    Aye, I know how it feels... I lost my cat last year. It'll be a year on Sept. 19.
    Sorry for your loss, Zen...But that's life, eh? Life goes on, as it never ends...
  11. Drumma

    Drumma TS Member Posts: 31

    Sorry to hear your news, it is always a tough choice to make and a heart breaker to lose a part of the family.
    My cat was nearly 19 years old when I had to decide to let him go. All credit to my vet though who did say I could continue with expensive but ultimately pointless treatments to try and give my cat a few more months on earth., or chose to let him go with dignity.
    That was three years ago now,I still have my cat's picture next to my PC screen.
    Best wishes Zen.
  12. fimbles

    fimbles TS Evangelist Posts: 1,171   +203

    Best wishes mate.

    Im sure there are plenty of homeless cats who could really use an owner like you.
  13. Zen

    Zen TechSpot Paladin Topic Starter Posts: 861   +48

    You are most correct here, there are plenty of homeless and needy cat's out there! Which I've pulled myself up off the floor enough to start thinking about. My little 1.5 yr old girl cat has been going a bit out of her mind by not having another cat around. Not right now, but soon, I will probably make my way to the likes of County Animal Control and the S.P.C.A. and possibly start looking for a new cat or kitten.
  14. captaincranky

    captaincranky TechSpot Addict Posts: 12,494   +2,293

    There isn't much I can add to what's already been said. Save for perhaps, "I'm a cat person also, and I've been there, and felt that, all too completely"...Sorry indeed for your loss.
  15. Zen

    Zen TechSpot Paladin Topic Starter Posts: 861   +48

    Thanks Captain for your nice words and the fact that you can totally understand! Things have improved since the event, but I would be dishonest to say that things have 100% returned to normal. But my little female cat I think has come out ahead over everyone and everything else. I guess she's the real winner here, for since Smokey's passing "papa been spoiling his little girl to no end"!

    But again, thanks for the nice words! I guess since the niceness is over, you can revert back to your cranky, black and white, no gray area self! :D lol................nothing but brother love for the Captain! :cool:
  16. bobcat

    bobcat TechSpot Paladin Posts: 688   +67

    I’ve just entered this section after a very long time and this is the thread that immediately attracted my attention. As a child, I always had a cat, he was my only company. And even as a child, I admired the intelligence and strength of character of these gifted animals, which made me a cat lover since. And now, over several boards I participate, my first choice for nickname and avatar are cats.

    You consequently have my full sympathy, but I’d like to offer more than that, so here are some notable quotes about cats that I hope you like:

    · God has created the cat to give man the pleasure of caressing the tiger. (Theophile Gautier)

    · Cats are like music. It's foolish to try to explain their worth to those who don't appreciate them.

    · I love cats because I enjoy my home; and, little by little, they become its visible soul. (Jean Cocteau)

    · I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior. (Hippolyte Taine)
  17. monrayl

    monrayl TS Member Posts: 66

    Sorry for your loss Zen. One of our kittens died 3 months ago, only 2 weeks old. I felt so sorry for the kitten's mother as she cried and constantly searched the house for her little one. Losing a pet can be really tough. I wish you the best.

    P.S: It makes me feel good to know that there are still so many pet owners out there who really care about their animals. Well done to you Zen and to all other pet owners who replied to this thread.
  18. learninmypc

    learninmypc TS Evangelist Posts: 7,281   +372

    UNfortunatly in my current living situation , I'm not allowed ANY pets:(so I survive from watching funny cat videos
  19. abe10tiger

    abe10tiger TechSpot Paladin Posts: 789   +16

    Well Zen, don't feel sad. Smokey's in a better place watching you and thanking you for loving and being there for him. :)
    Zen likes this.
  20. Zen

    Zen TechSpot Paladin Topic Starter Posts: 861   +48

    Thanks buddy, I really needed that! :'(
  21. treetops

    treetops TS Evangelist Posts: 2,027   +197

    Its terrible when you lose a loved pet, we had a very interesting cat that for lack of better word lost its balance somehow and could barely jump on our 3 foot tall fence. The vet said it was some type of vertigo. It hated being inside so much that it was killing her worse then her new ailment so we let her out even though she was very wobbly. We knew something might happen to her but she had been a very active outside cat her whole life and cried loudly to be let out it brought us to tears to see her like that. After a few months of letting her out during the day she disappeared. Its been years and every once in a great while I dream about our old cat Boo. About a year later a injured dog made its way to our home, we ended up keeping her and we gained a beloved pet once again :).
  22. abe10tiger

    abe10tiger TechSpot Paladin Posts: 789   +16

    Yes it is. We once had a dog before when I was little who ran away and never came back. Not sure if he got lost, got hit by a car or got abducted by aliens or by our crazy next door neighbors. :(
  23. Marnomancer

    Marnomancer TS Booster Posts: 723   +51

    Abe, have you raided your neighbours' basement for holding cells or any suspicious artifacts? <FBI agent emoticon>
  24. abe10tiger

    abe10tiger TechSpot Paladin Posts: 789   +16

    I wanted to investigate the case further but their house looks too scary. The folks who live in the scary house? They're far worse.
  25. Marnomancer

    Marnomancer TS Booster Posts: 723   +51

    Reminds me of "Constance The Giantess" for some reason. Sad though, when a pet runs away and never comes back...

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