Agreed. That's the way it always was in the past? Back in the day, some systems even required jumpers (to set FSB and multiplier); when they moved to having the settings in the BIOS, clearing the settings ALWAYS reset it to a safe speed.
Honestly, I think what's happened here is that the top of the line Ryzens are very fast, and Intel wanted some benchmarks where their 13900K/14900K were cleaning the Ryzen's clock. And assumed when these boards proved unstable, they'd be like "Oh, Gigabyte/MSI, come on, really" and let people assume these boards were running the CPU out of spec, they'd release a BIOS update that tamed the speeds a bit but the high benchmarks would already be out there. I don't think they counted on Gigabyte (and then the tech sites) picking up on these boards WERE following Intel's specs, the specs are just way too loose.
I do agree that these motherboard makers definitely share responsibility here -- Intel specs or not, Cinebench will crash on these things in like 15-60 seconds. It does seem like testing a new motherboard with the top-of-the-line CPU (and a large cooler so it doesn't thermal throttle) would be a good idea; I mean like 5 minutes of testing would have shown them there's a problem.
But mostly it's on Intel, as you say they should have a pretty strict base spec, and going above that spec should be a matter of clearly turning on overclocking settings. (AMD and Intel CPUs usually have lower TDP targets settable too, for notebooks to keep power under control and prebuilts where they know the cooling is trash... well, that's for small form factor systems and embedded really. But hopefully one would buy a less expensive CPU rather than buy a 14900K or top-of-the-line Ryzen then kneecap it with a reduced TDP limit.)