Opening beer bottles? There’s an app (or a case) for that

By Archean · 26 replies
Jul 28, 2011
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  1. [​IMG]


    I've seen lots of crappleware but this must be in the top five list, and it costs almost 40$.
  2. Lokalaskurar

    Lokalaskurar TS Enthusiast Posts: 544

    What if the beer suddenly fires into the I/O port? Does it have to be cleaned?

    ... Is there an app for that?
  3. Archean

    Archean TechSpot Paladin Topic Starter Posts: 5,690   +96

    If that happens:

    a) you'll end up probably with the most expensive bottle opener in the world
    b) An apple fan-boy will need to drink lot more beer just to get over the sadness
  4. SNGX1275

    SNGX1275 TS Forces Special Posts: 10,742   +422

    I've seen sandals advertised in Outside magazine that have an opener in the middle, on the sole. Seems good, but I think in reality it would suck. The soles of shoes are never clean, and I don't want to drink a beer that has road/sidewalk/beach grit in it.

    A real beer drinker will find a way to get it opened (like side of a table, rail, those park grills, ect).
  5. Benny26

    Benny26 TechSpot Paladin Posts: 1,535   +51


    I just use my teeth...I wouldn't switch to my phone, no way.
  6. dividebyzero

    dividebyzero trainee n00b Posts: 4,891   +1,264

    Plastic BiC lighter, using a second unopened beer bottle (the edge of it's crown cap), belt buckle etc, etc... Since more and more beers are now coming out with twist-tops it seems like its usefulness might be limited. Should come with the marketing slogan "Guaranteed to make the user look like a complete tool at any social event".

    Teeth work ok too (at least til you chip a few) on longnecks. Down here, most of us grew up on crate beer (and 50 litre kegs) - some of those near-welded-on 750ml bottle caps can make short work of dental work.
  7. learninmypc

    learninmypc TS Evangelist Posts: 7,674   +414

    I don't drink beer, just Vodka. :slurp:
  8. Benny26

    Benny26 TechSpot Paladin Posts: 1,535   +51

    I can see what you mean. I have chipped a few teeth doing it as it happens (probably most while drunk). I recently went on a camping trip where we were pressing under the lid of the bottles with a lighter and the tops were firing all over the place. The power inside a bud is unbelievable, and alot of fun too (only while drunk though) :D

    I'll admit i like a vodka mixer...but only after much beer has been consumed first.
  9. learninmypc

    learninmypc TS Evangelist Posts: 7,674   +414

    When I did drink beer, it was [​IMG]
  10. dividebyzero

    dividebyzero trainee n00b Posts: 4,891   +1,264

    Likewise. Have cut the inside of my lips numerous times also- although mostly through "torpedoing" cans (shake can, hold both ends, bite into can, swallow until empty, shake can to demonstrate it's empty, toss can, repeat with as many cans as race rules signify.....since torpedoing seems to have liberal interpretation around the globe). This form of stupid behaviour I phased out in my be replaced by Absinthe Drips, Jäger shots and Irish Car Bombs.
    Glad to see there's one good use for Bud. As a drink it ranks somewhere between run-off from Fukushima No.1 and the spa pool water at Incontinents Anonymous.
  11. SNGX1275

    SNGX1275 TS Forces Special Posts: 10,742   +422

    Oh man. That stuff is barely consumable. Only when already drunk, and then thats a bad idea cause its alcohol percentage is quite a bit higher than regular beer.
  12. captaincranky

    captaincranky TechSpot Addict Posts: 13,036   +2,558

    I say hand them some "4 Loco" along with their car keys. That should get you out of babysitting in the future.

    For Four:
  13. Benny26

    Benny26 TechSpot Paladin Posts: 1,535   +51

    Ahh "New Zealand" it says in the top corner, that explains it. Out of those two examples you've given, It's hard to see which would be more toxic, to be honest.

    What's strange is as a beer, I would easily put Fosters in your rank also. Although Fosters being an Australian drink, with it being a drink originally from "down under", I'm thinking that maybe the north and south hemispheres don't mix.
  14. Arris

    Arris TS Evangelist Posts: 4,730   +379

    Fosters is generally an export beer and not something Aussies will drink. Prefer Victoria or XXXX. Budweiser(the US brand) is what I'd rank as cat's piss. Personally I prefer ales but if I have to drink lager it will be Staropramen(Czech) or Kronenbourg.
  15. Benny26

    Benny26 TechSpot Paladin Posts: 1,535   +51

    I find Castlemaine XXXX to be really crap, you hardly see it around in any pubs now. Kronenbourg aint a bad beer. Dutch lager tends to be bad.

    I'm with you on ales though, I don't mind a pint of Tetleys bitter now and then. They used to brew it about 2 miles away from where i am now untill Carlsberg threw the towel in with the brewery.
  16. captaincranky

    captaincranky TechSpot Addict Posts: 13,036   +2,558

    And yet you have no qualms about inflicting it on us. Sorry I mean "US".
    Yes, I (we) sometimes refer to that delightful brew as, "Scud weiser". But, the alcohol content is in the normal range, and certainly not what you would consider a "youth" or "minority" targeted, "f*** you up in a big hurry" novelty beverage.

    Myself, I drink milk, OJ, and Coca Cola. I suppose I've never grown up.
  17. learninmypc

    learninmypc TS Evangelist Posts: 7,674   +414

    Yea,I know. 8.1%. But when you're on a tiny budget,it does the job.
  18. learninmypc

    learninmypc TS Evangelist Posts: 7,674   +414

    That 4 Loco is bad stuff. It was thankfully banned here in Washington state.
    I can't find the news article, but it wasn't good.
  19. Benny26

    Benny26 TechSpot Paladin Posts: 1,535   +51

    I find that rather odd. I always had a thought of you being a Brandy man, or a Whisky chap. Maybe sat in a master chair with a small cigar burning away in a nearby ashtray.

    Although, I remember you saying you had given up the smoke.
  20. SNGX1275

    SNGX1275 TS Forces Special Posts: 10,742   +422

    We can get Staropramen here, its decent. I think comparing Budweiser (US) to something Staropramen, Pilsner Urquell, Stella, ect is an unfair comparison. I don't know of anything from Europe or elsewhere for that matter that tastes like Bud. Bud itself isn't as bad as people like to say, its just popular to hate an American macrobrewery. Sure I'd rather drink a Pilsner Urquell than a Bud, but it also costs 4x as much.
  21. captaincranky

    captaincranky TechSpot Addict Posts: 13,036   +2,558

    Actually standard Budweiser is a pleasurable drink, as is what I call, "Mexican Budweiser", "Corona".

    Bud doesn't have a fierce, overwhelming flavor, as do many heavier ales, and beers. You know, the kind, "real men" drink.

    The trouble with having no flavor, comes in with Rolling Rock, and all of the light beers. These are mostly consumed by hypocrites fighting a weight problem, and a bunch of yuppies with delusions of class. (Although many of them have turned to drinking wine to make themselves feel better than you. (or I)

    I think I had a couple of cans of "Yuengling" recently, and they were pretty tasty. Since they were the first beers I've had in a couple of years I should be certain, but I'm not).
  22. SNGX1275

    SNGX1275 TS Forces Special Posts: 10,742   +422

    I've had Yuengling when I've been in PA a few times, you are right, it is pretty good. I remember being at a Ruby Tuesday's locally and they had it on the menu. So I ordered one, then it turns out they don't have it - apparently all Ruby Tuesday's have the same menu. So some of the beers may not be available.
  23. dividebyzero

    dividebyzero trainee n00b Posts: 4,891   +1,264

    Well done that man.
    Foster's is generally regarded as the poor mans drain cleaner. As an emetic I think it's on par with Lye. People seem to have cottoned on to the fact that most Aussie beers are in fact a nationwide practical joke perpetrated upon an unsuspecting world- their appeal is that they taste so disgusting people tend to just throw them down their necks to avoid tasting them. Fosters, Castlemaine XXXX,Carlton Bitter, Emu Export etc... aren't actually drunk by Australians.
    Decent Aussie beers would be Coopers ( Sparkling Ale, Pale Ale, Extra Stout), and for those of less discerning tastes, Victoria Bitter (VB). New Zealand beers of note would be Steinlager (similar to Holsten -German pilsner- with a longer lasting head) and Mac's Brewery range.

    Re: Bud(weiser, not Budvar)
    This american atrocity of watered down bile from feral cats, along with Miller "Draft" -a beer with slightly less taste than water- actually retail in New Zealand at prices 10-20% above Heineken, Lowenbrau, Kronenbourg, Tuborg, Carlsberg, Urquell and Bass Pale Ale.
  24. SNGX1275

    SNGX1275 TS Forces Special Posts: 10,742   +422

    I don't care for Bass Pale Ale. If you are going to drink a PA or IPA, I'd suggest: Ranger IPA (New Holland Brewing out of Colorado), Boulevard PA or their Single Wide IPA (Kansas City, MO) they also have a Double Wide IPA out of their Smokestack series which is really good, but also pretty expensive, or Sierra Nevada PA or Sierra Nevada Torpedo (IPA) out of somewhere in California :)

    While we are discussing this, I think many of the "green bottle" beers all have a very similar and "skunky" smell - I know in part (large?) that is to do with light entering the bottles, but even if you get ones that haven't seen much light (Heineken cans or Heineken 12 pack of bottles (enclosed well, preventing light)) they still all taste pretty similar (even soapy).
  25. Benny26

    Benny26 TechSpot Paladin Posts: 1,535   +51

    I've never drank, nor even seen "Steinlager" or anything "Mac's" here in the UK, so i can't comment for them. I do agree about the "throwing down the neck" because i've done it myself; I once ordered a 4 pint jug not knowing it was bloody Fosters, but i was so tight thinking about cash that instead of wasting it, I just downed the lot of it without stopping for one second to feel its taste...It's the pissiest beer you can get here, i feel.

    Bud's the same here as you say it is there; around a 20% mark up. I've tried Lowenbrau and i quite liked it. I've never come across it in the bottle form yet though.

    I once went to Tenerife, and it seemed the only beer you could get on the island was "San Miguel". That came in little green bottles, and was quite a nice little drink, as it happens.

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