Should parents monitor their kids' cell phone usage?

By TimmyDick ยท 7 replies
Sep 25, 2014
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  1. I have a 15 year old daughter and she has an iPhone since she was 11. I thought that was too young, but my wife insisted. However, my daughter never follows any rules about using the mobile phone. It is strictly prohibited for students at the school to use their cell phones during class time and their mobile cell phones are ought to be turned off.

    Unexpectedly, when I was checking her phone records, I found that she has been texting over a hundred times during class and making about at least 10 calls a day. She used to be a very good student, but since she has had that phone her grades have slipped and she has even failed some classes. So, I put a complete block on her phone for calls and texting during school hours. Well, when her mom found that, she yelled at me and said that I was looking for ways to get her into trouble. I was really frustrated. Is it so bad to check on a kid's cell phone usage to make sure they are not abusing it?
  2. cliffordcooley

    cliffordcooley TS Guardian Fighter Posts: 9,715   +3,696

    It's time for you to take the phone away for a bit.
    learninmypc likes this.
  3. chip igmo

    chip igmo TS Member Posts: 51

    Definitely, you should check on your kid's phone habits.

    have a talk with your wife and kid. it is time to set some ground rules. if grades fall below certain limits, phone is withheld.

    I have an 11-y.o. nephew. my sister (nephew's mom) would check all calls and text messages.
    additionally, no computer use Monday to Thursday (except if homework or research-related). computer use allowed on Friday (after school hours), Saturday (whole day), and Sunday (until 9pm).
    learninmypc likes this.
  4. learninmypc

    learninmypc TS Evangelist Posts: 7,670   +413

    To an extent I know what the OP is talking about.
    In my case she was 11 when I first met her, her mom gave her a cell phone,iPad,iPod & computer. The only difference here is her grades are still good.
    I do however agree with the two previous posters & say YES, time to monitor her abuse of usage. Once her grades get better, return it. :)
  5. HyperPete

    HyperPete TS Enthusiast Posts: 28   +11

    Your wife is enabling her bad habits. Is she going to accept all of the blame when your daughter's behavioral problems get worse?
    You are doing your daughter a favor by enforcing rules. When she grows up she will appreciate you doing so. Don't give in to the wife's yelling. You're doing the right thing.
  6. jobeard

    jobeard TS Ambassador Posts: 11,128   +982

    What did you hear when you wanted a driver's license - -
    "Driving is privilege, not a right".

    So is the cell phone IMO. A large percentage of users quickly become OCD on texting, facebook, skype and email. Reminds me of the movie Metropolis, where the machines take over. Another movie reference;
    Shall We Dance, Richard Gere, Jennifer Lopez, Susan Sarandon, - - a dinner scene AT HOME and the kid says, "I've got to take this call" and Gere can't believe his ears! At least the parents were unified on the issue.

    BTW: Disable all location services on that phone, unless the wife is okay with having daughter STALKED!!
  7. red1776

    red1776 Omnipotent Ruler of the Universe Posts: 5,224   +164

    I really don't mean to sound harsh, however unless there is more to the story, this seems obvious. She is texting, calling during school and failing classes commensurate with having a phone. Defending this behavior is as puerile as the teens actions. Say it out loud and see if it sounds absurd.
    You may want to have a look into her FB, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter activities as well. Obviously something (or things) are garnering her attention and efforts that she deems more important than her education.
    As far as your question. No it is not "so bad" to check on her is incumbent on you to do so or run the risk of being on a show that has Chris Hansen popping out from around the corner.
    (By the way this is coming from the parent of a 15 year old girl as well)
    Good luck :)
    Last edited: Jan 9, 2015
  8. kongrui

    kongrui TS Rookie

    I remember when I was 15 yrs old even I had my teen secret as well. My studies did get affected, however soon was back to the track, beholding my interests and studies both. It happened because my parent talk to me, became friends to me than parent with do's and don't.

    I started sharing my secrets with my mother and often with father because they behave as friends and gave me the freedom to choose. Of course my ways sometime where not right and it use to back fire, thankful to my parents to let me do mistake and learn from it.

    All I want to say is be a friend to you child, things will fall in place. To carve a teenager perception with right and wrong is very difficult as a father or mother, but can be easy as a friend.

    With regards to your question, as a parent you should continue to track your child's activity but if there is some thing wrong you need to talk than punishing the child.

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