What do you think of my essay?

By ¼ of a hotdog · 13 replies
Sep 17, 2008
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  1. yes i actually submitted this to school and got a good grade!!!


    Who do you want to run this nation? A dinosaur, a liberal or Walker, Texas Ranger! I believe that Chuck Norris is the most qualified man in the world to be president of the United States! Chuck Norris has black belts in karate and has created his own style of martial arts. Chuck Norris would make sure there are no civilian casualties in a war. Mr. Norris would bring us the cleanest and most plentiful source of energy ever.

    Obama is skinny and McCain is old but chuck Norris is over 65 and still in better shape than both of them combined. McCain may have a lot of combat experience and Obama has read about combat experience but chuck Norris has the equivalent of thousands of years of combat experience in flashbacks, montages and actual non deleted scenes!!! Both Obama and McCain have absolutely no acting experience but chuck Norris has been if films for over 40 years!!!!

    Think about what would happen if a new war arose. Both Obama and McCain would send our military out to do the work, but Chuck Norris wouldn’t. He would simply arrange transport to the location and win the war singlehandedly, with no civilian or U.S. casualties! In future wars, the other countries would simply not want to fight us or our allies for fear of a roundhouse kick to the face! Soon Chuck Norris would bring world peace. Now could Obama or McCain bring world peace? I think not!!!

    Both Obama and McCain want to find alternative energy sources but chuck Norris has already found one. McCain wants to drill off shore and I’m not sure what Obama wants but it’s probably all normal and boring like McCain’s. Chuck on the other hand wants to harvest the power of his own beard!!! Scientists have theorized that his beard could produce enough energy to power the world and replace the sun with some sort of giant full spectrum light bulb!!!

    So in conclusion McCain would drill off shore, be old, and have no acting experience what so ever!! Obama would be skinny, read about wars and disagree with them, and make the military do his bidding!!! Now Chuck Norris on the other hand would give us a very clean energy source, have acting experience, be in great shape, fight all wars himself, and bring world peace. Plus Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water and make it drink. Chuck can eat just one lay’s potato chip. Mr. Norris can kill 2 stones with one bird.

    so what do you think?
  2. tw0rld

    tw0rld TS Maniac Posts: 549   +6

    furthermore, he'll never break a sweat doing it all. Very funny!
  3. ¼ of a hotdog

    ¼ of a hotdog TS Enthusiast Topic Starter Posts: 181

    that would have been pretty good in there and thanks for telling me what you think!
  4. TimeParadoX

    TimeParadoX TS Rookie Posts: 2,224

    It's great, I would have given it an A+ while I laugh at all the other children poor attempts at being cool.

    Also, what was the prompt for this essay? "Write the most awesome essay in existence."
  5. captaincranky

    captaincranky TechSpot Addict Posts: 13,718   +3,143

    But Who Will Be Number Two on the Ticket.......

    I'm thinking Steven Segal or possibly Sylvester Stallone.
  6. TimeParadoX

    TimeParadoX TS Rookie Posts: 2,224

    Chuck Norris vs Ronnie Coleman vs Arnold Schwarzenegger vs Steven Segal vs Sylvester Stallone.
  7. ¼ of a hotdog

    ¼ of a hotdog TS Enthusiast Topic Starter Posts: 181

    I would prefer to see Chuck Norris vs Garry Colman vs Bob Dole vs super hobo and than the only thing that has a chance with Chuck Norris, Nomad from Crysis! Oh wait and than there is Carl Johnson from San Andreas.
  8. TimeParadoX

    TimeParadoX TS Rookie Posts: 2,224

    I still think all my choices vs Chuck Norris would be a good fight to watch.
  9. captaincranky

    captaincranky TechSpot Addict Posts: 13,718   +3,143

    OK, I think you guys missed my point......

    I was wondering who you thought Chuck Norris would choose to be his vice president. Chuck as President was the point of the essay, at least I thought it was.
    Unless you think it should be a series of elimination cage fights for the job.

    How about Stacy Keibler? It's fashionable to choose a woman nowadays, is it not.
  10. TimeParadoX

    TimeParadoX TS Rookie Posts: 2,224

    You want Stacy Keibler to fight or to just be nude in the cage? :3
  11. ¼ of a hotdog

    ¼ of a hotdog TS Enthusiast Topic Starter Posts: 181

    Yes umm she looks like she would make an excellent vice president. Plus during a crisis i would not be able to look away ever at all... ever. I had actually never thought about a vice president tho... hmm um nomad maybe or oh i know Chuck Norris can be his own vice president because Chuck Norris can not die!
  12. captaincranky

    captaincranky TechSpot Addict Posts: 13,718   +3,143

    Mud.......By Tommy Hilfiger

    I feel if that she were to fight nude, you would have to make it a mud match. You know, just as a small measure of modesty.
  13. TimeParadoX

    TimeParadoX TS Rookie Posts: 2,224

    A fully nude mud match, live on Pay-per view TV? I can make millions on this, charge $100 for a one day pass to watch 24/7 nude mud matches.
  14. JanieBerry

    JanieBerry TS Rookie

    Witty and funny. Many thanks for sharing!

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