Ideas to make F1 "more exciting"

By Archean ยท 18 replies
Mar 7, 2011
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  1. Taking into account Bernie's annual ritual of coming up with something ridiculously preposterous, Mathew Norman wrote a very interesting article discussing various ideas to make F1 more interesting.

    I like the idea of letting loose a Cobra in F1 Car's cockpit though, should make the drivers become more racier ;)
  2. dividebyzero

    dividebyzero trainee n00b Posts: 4,891   +1,264

    Sounds like a few sure fire winners. I'd probably add:

    Race length determined by a random number gererator. Everyone to be informed one minute before the scheduled race finish. Screw tactics, just hammer down.

    All drivers must keep up a twitter race commentary. Time penalties assessed for lack of coherence, non-punctual tweeting and use of old , or forced memes

    Compulsory barrel-proof liquor shots for drivers at pit stops - Either arbitrary or dice roll for number of shots to consume. All shots need to be consumed by the time the crew finish pitting the car.

    F1 Decathlon: Drivers must complete a task every lap - unwrap and hang a little pine tree air freshener, manually tune a freshly installed radio, consume a large burger, fries and milkshake then thoughtfully dispose of the litter, extricate loose change from under the seat etc.

    Celebrity wild-card F1 licenses. Who wouldn't pay to see Vern Troyer mix it with the big boys? Stephen Hawking put those wheelchair skills to good use?, or Charlie Sheen really try for some winning ? Maybe Mel Gibson and Lindsay Lohan teaming up in a drivers ed car with dual controls.
  3. Archean

    Archean TechSpot Paladin Topic Starter Posts: 5,690   +96

    I think Sheen would be better off in safety car with his two girlfriends and wife waving black flags at drivers who violate any of the new rules/requirements.

    How about fitting a rocket underneath every driver's seat, if he drives slower, say below 300 km/ph avg lap speed for 10 laps, rocket can be triggered off sending him to join Tang Fu in the heavens.

    By the way I like the idea of 'artificial rain' with one caveat, i.e. it should be unexpected at any given time during the race for say 5-10 laps.
  4. captaincranky

    captaincranky TechSpot Addict Posts: 13,026   +2,557

    More like having one of his "godesses" drive, while hew sits in the back seat with his mirror, a needle, and a spoon.

    Has Tang Fu gone to the great beyond? I've been so lax at watching "Entertainment Tonight". Well there's that, and the fact I don't care, or even know who "Tang Fu" is.

    Did you know it's said, you get an inch shorter every time you eject from a fighter jet? I'm jus' sayin', "one pill makes you larger, and ejection seats make you small"!

    (With profound apologies to Lewis Carroll and Grace Slick).
  5. red1776

    red1776 Omnipotent Ruler of the Universe Posts: 5,224   +164

    Put Jeremy Clarkson behind the wheel. That will liven things up.
  6. captaincranky

    captaincranky TechSpot Addict Posts: 13,026   +2,557

    Or perhaps Kelly Clarkson, although I doubt if she'd fit.
  7. Lurker101

    Lurker101 TS Evangelist Posts: 820   +345

    Don't be stupid. A jumped up Datsun nearly broke Clarksons neck. What do you think an F1 car would do to him?

    And if Kelly Clarkson wouldn't fit, there's no way Jezza would fit.
  8. red1776

    red1776 Omnipotent Ruler of the Universe Posts: 5,224   +164

    Right....what was I thinking!? :haha:
    was that a Datsun that had the ambulance out there on the test track?

    Don't they make double wides?.....oh wait, thats Jessica Simpson.
  9. Lurker101

    Lurker101 TS Evangelist Posts: 820   +345

    It was a Nissan GT-R, and we all know that Nissan is just Datsun with the logo repainted :D

    And we can't have Hammond doing the driving either, before you suggest it. He's already proven he can't handle a blow out on the track.
  10. red1776

    red1776 Omnipotent Ruler of the Universe Posts: 5,224   +164

  11. EXCellR8

    EXCellR8 The Conservative Posts: 1,835

    like my idea for NASCAR, other than abolishing it, i'd like to see half the pack go in the opposite direction on the track. that should make for some interesting driving... :D

    but in all seriousness... if you get the chance play footage of a single corner on Spa or Monaco GP or something and compare Formula 1 to say Super GT or even F3. the difference in speed is mind-boggling. how they can even keep the cars on the track at that velocity is beyond me, serious reflexes and no fear of speed i guess..
  12. red1776

    red1776 Omnipotent Ruler of the Universe Posts: 5,224   +164

    Just kidding EXC
  13. Archean

    Archean TechSpot Paladin Topic Starter Posts: 5,690   +96

    Tang Fu was the first person who tried to 'ride' a rocket (whatever you make out of this) hmm......

    Secondly, I don't remember the exact measurement, people do get 'shorter' during the day anyway (because of gravity) and become taller when they sleep.

    If Jezza is in an F1 car, the most likely scenario is his head will come off on the start/finish line as soon as KERS is activated.

    How about having a race on race track designed on the figure 8 ? (as they suggested)

    In the days of 1.44MB FDD, PC World (I think) sent a game in one disk along with their magazine, in which the vehicles would fly around the track and could fire missiles at the opponents who were ahead of the player, I think it too can be a good alternative ..... just an idea you know ;)
  14. Benny26

    Benny26 TechSpot Paladin Posts: 1,535   +51

    I seem to remember Jezza saying that setting them all on fire just before the start of the race would liven things up.

    Gotta say...The man's got a point.
  15. Archean

    Archean TechSpot Paladin Topic Starter Posts: 5,690   +96

    Or may be the pit crew should be all women, wearing bikinis ....... perhaps that will make them drive faster, requiring more frequent tyre changes in the process, and it will result in a) more pit stops b) may be more overtaking to get to pits before the other guy.

    Beside, it would yield better results when compared to Jezza's fire idea and captain will like it (I guess) ;)
  16. captaincranky

    captaincranky TechSpot Addict Posts: 13,026   +2,557

    Gentlemen Start Your Umbrellas.....!! (Huh)...????

    And indeed I do! However, it's already been done to death by the Japanese.... The Japanese, as a people, have a society wide fetish regarding spandex and "pleather", hot pants and bikinis. I not knocking this, but rather embrace it. That said, the girls are known as "race queens, or "umbrella girls". They take off most of their clothes, and, (ostensibly), shelter the drivers from the hot sun with their over sized umbrellas. (Which also double as billboards). (Of course).

    Sooo...., alls ya gotta do is google, "race queens", (in general), or, "Midori Yamasaki" in particular to see this in action. Some other things to try might be "Zent Sweeties", Mayu Oya", Akane Souma, or "Endless Racing". As you might expect, I could go on and on.
  17. dividebyzero

    dividebyzero trainee n00b Posts: 4,891   +1,264

    ...subways, tentacles, schoolgirl attire, S&M, '50's Americana...

    Maybe the organisers for Suzuka in October could institute a few changes. I look forward to seeing how Ferrari's drivers and pit crew cope with race conditions whilst wearing Paul the Octopus costumes and simultaneously trying to molest McLarens schoolgirl crew.
  18. Lurker101

    Lurker101 TS Evangelist Posts: 820   +345

    If we can get back to talking about Jeremy Clarkson for just a moment, he actually covered this very topic back in 2008. He addressed how boring and dreary Formula 1 is and how to make a motorsport that people would actually enjoy watching. A lot of the moaning and complaining about F1 and how emotionally uninvolving it is, is in an article here, but the solution, as far as I'm concerned is to completely replace F1 with an idea here had here.

    I don't know about you lot, but personally, I think it's a fantastic idea, and to make it a little more interesting, I'd force the celebrities to have the proper performance cars and the professional drivers to have the 'attractive but a bit ****' cars. Even if it's only lesser celebrities, you'd still enjoy it. A lot more than you enjoy Formula 1 anyway. I'd add plenty of Red Button extras too, allowing you to view the cameras in each car and hear the radio chatter between teams. This, I think, is a truly brilliant idea and somebody needs to make it happen.
  19. hanssen

    hanssen TS Rookie

    it would be nice if more dangerous overtaking would be allowed!

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