And finally my latest collection...
*WHO'S IDEA WAS IT THAT WE SHOULD WORK FIVE DAYS IN A WEEK ? (WHY NOT
THREE?)*
*Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up
every two hours? **
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? *
*Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are
flat? **
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is
not enough? **
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but
check when you say the paint is wet? **
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? **
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?**
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a
revolver at him?**
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?**
Whose idea was it to put an! "S" in the word "lisp"?**
What is the speed of darkness?**
Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at the
Special Olympics? **
**
If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold
tomorrow, how cold will it be?**
If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing
here?**
Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?*
*
Do you cry under water?**
Why d! o people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars
to look at things on the ground? **
Did you ever stop and wonder......** *
*Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze **
these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?" *
*Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat*
*the next thing that comes outta it's bum." *
*Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to
**a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? *
*Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?** *
*Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't** **
point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is? *
*Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you
get** **undressed
if they are going to look up there anyway **? *
*Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both
dogs* *! *
*Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream** ?? *
*If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? (This one kills me** !!!!) *
*If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,**
**then what is baby oil made from* *? *
*If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons** ? *
*Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same
tune?** *
*Stop singing and read on . . . . . .. . . . **. *
*Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?** *
*Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?** *
Thats all folks