You do not understand currency or you are being deliberately difficult. Currency is exactly what you described so sarcastically.
Me, being deliberately difficult? That doesn't sound like me at all. Plus I absolutely do understand currency, and the fact it is an abstraction. But, "the coin of the realm" is legal tender for all debts public and private", "bitcoin is not.
It is the reason a good friend of mine has a one billion or trillion (one of the two) genuine note from Zimbabwe. A currency is one of those things that, the more people believe in it the more it becomes true.
Before you start spouting, "I know so and so, who has this and that", at least do us the courtesy of having the facts. But if anything, your anecdote just proves me right. The only value currency has is under that of a stable government. Every genocide and tribal purge in Sub-Saharan Africa renders the old "currency" useless, and a new one "fabricated".
This applies to US dollars and BitCoins alike.
But rather more so to "bitcoins", I'd say.
Made especially so when you consider only around ten percent of all currency is actually coin and notes, the rest is a string of ones and zeros. So, if anything, BC's are exactly the same as ninety percent of the world's existing currency.
Well, In still use USDs to buy food. So you screw around with internet play money all you want, I have to eat.
The more people believe in it, the more it will become true. The less people believe in it, the less it will be true. But considering the exposure it has been getting the in last two months alone, and considering the two big crashes that the system managed to weather quite triumphantly, it looks like it could be edging towards the former rather than the latter.
The same could be said of most "urban legends".
You know, they ran the film, "The Wizard of Oz" once a year on broadcast TV for decades. As the years progressed you simply can't imagine how many members of the lesbian community believed in Judy Garland. That's unrelated you say? Well so is "bitcoin" and actual purchasing power. So now, all you have to do is click your heels together three times and say, "my bitcoins are real money", "my bitcoins are real money", "my bitcoins are real money", and if your theories about believing are true, that will happen for you.
Bitcoin is another case of legality not keeping pace with the internet. It is illegal to issue,"currency", other than that issued by the state, within the confines of most countries.
And that's probably the reason nobody seems to know who started bitcoin, they don't want to do time for it. If the justice dept takes this up, fraud on this scale would qualify for life sentences under current federal guidelines.
You could arguably make a case for minting non state issued "currency", as an attempt at revolution, and revolution against a government is assimilated under the umbrella of "treason".
BCs are no more illegitimate than any other type of currency...
Wrong! "Currency", is indeed an "illusion" or "abstraction", as you point out. Bitcoin however, is a fantasy piled on top of an illusion. A "dream within a dream", so to speak.
I really do hope that most of this generation gets so wrapped in computer simulations of real life, such as "The Sims", "Farm Simulator", and a host of others, they forget to eat, and eventually die out. Maybe sprinkling "bitcoins" on their coffins will become a tradition.