This reminds me of times when CD drives were new and some people actually called them cup holders with serious face. But yeah, this is not first crazy thing parents would do, due to lack of knowledge or understanding.
As for paste application, there are plenty of YouTube videos proving once and for all, that thermal paste application just doesn't matter and only way you can go wrong I'd to use too little. Too much is actually not an issue in terms of performance, but more in terms of a mess it can leave behind. Because excess will just squeeze out on the side and as paste heats up, cooler will settle down just fine. Only way it can actually be dangerous is if your paste is electrically conductive. But other than that, except too little, temperature variance between applications is lik 1-2C, which will really only matter, if you are into extreme overclocking and need every degree of headroom. For 99% it won't really matter. Just saying.
As for application, I vi ld see new tubes being more newbie friendly. However for rest, I don't really think they will do anything. As for spread, it really won't change anything.