From the future: check for STDs by peeing on your phone

Emil

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The embarrassment of going to a clinic to get tested for Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) may one day be easily avoidable. Testing may soon require only a computer chip and a place to pee on one. In an attempt to cut the UK's rising rates of various herpes, chlamydia, and gonorrhea, British health officials say that STDs will soon be diagnosable by placing urine or saliva on a computer chip and plugging it into a cell phone or computer.

"Your mobile phone can be your mobile doctor," Dr. Tariq Sadiq, a senior lecturer and consultant physician in sexual health and HIV at the University of London, who is leading the project, told the Guardian. "It diagnoses whether you've got one of a range of STIs, such as chlamydia or gonorrhea and tells you where to go next to get treatment. We need to tackle the rising epidemic of STIs, which have been going up and up and up. Britain is one of the worst [countries] in western Europe for teenage pregnancy and STIs. That there's a major embarrassment factor here, especially among young people, makes the situation worse."

Seven sources, including the Medical Research Council, have invested £4 million ($6.41 million) into the UK Clinical Research Collaboration to fund the project. Unfortunately, details regarding when the technology will go retail are still unknown. One day, parents will have to remind their teenagers that condoms can fit in their pockets too, just like cell phones.

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This doesn't sound very sanitary. Why not just have hot spots that you can plug your chip into that'll sound it out. I'm sorry I'm not putting something I peed on onto something I put my mouth near.
 
this doesn't sound very hygienic. at least they should've come out with something like the pregnancy test pen.
 
taea00 said:
This doesn't sound very sanitary. Why not just have hot spots that you can plug your chip into that'll sound it out. I'm sorry I'm not putting something I peed on onto something I put my mouth near.
Exactly! Maybe we should use something else instead of phones? How about your personal computer, I can't imagine that you would need to check yourself out so often it needs to be on your phone.
 
Oh come on, its just connecting a cable to the phone.

Its not quite the same as peeing on your phone and then using it afterwards is it? :haha:
 
Leeky said:
Oh come on, its just connecting a cable to the phone.

Its not quite the same as peeing on your phone and then using it afterwards is it? :haha:

It doesn't say that in the article. It simply mentions the inclusion of a chip in the market to make the test more accessible.

Now, if such chip will be a standalone portable device you can use at home, then the idea is certainly welcome. But what the article is implying --if not saying-- is that such chip (which you will have to pee onto) will be somehow attached to the phone for what I assume is, "portability." And that is unsanitary.
 
@Cardriverx

Testing may soon require only a computer chip and a place to pee on one. In an attempt to cut the UK's rising rates of various herpes, chlamydia, and gonorrhea, British health officials say that STDs will soon be diagnosable by placing urine or saliva on a computer chip and plugging it into a cell phone or computer.

I think its fairly safe to assume you'll be connecting it via a cable - Thats how you connect pretty much all computer devices of one description or another. Its rather obvious such a system wouldn't be even remotely used should your assumption be the case.

I cannot see phone manufacturers giving up space to insert a "real" card of any size for the purpose of urine evaluation - If only due to the risk of water damage. It would have to be a separate system.
 
I can just imagine the tech support calls:

"um, my phone's not working anymore, I used it for an STD test"
"sorry, we don't cover pee damage for incorrect testing procedure"
 
haha this makes me think of that pregnancy detector commercial saying: "the most expensive piece of technology you will ever pee on" i think that must have inspired developers, but hey - developers developer developers right? :)
 
absolutgaloot said:
I can just imagine the tech support calls:

"um, my phone's not working anymore, I used it for an STD test"
"sorry, we don't cover pee damage for incorrect testing procedure"
LOL.

Phone+pee=bad combo
 
Leeky said:
Is this a joke?

It wouldn't surprise me, our phones get around a fair bit. :haha:

I guess so.

I do know the urine-is-just-1%-bacteria-99%-water thing, but would you seriously splash your face with urine, or use your phone as you normally do?

They say ignorance is bliss since we can't see the bacteria on the phones, but I assure you I prefer talking on the phone than the former.
 
lawfer said:
cardriverx said:
Define unsanitary. Your piss is more sanitary than your phones surface.

Is this a joke?

Actually, he's right. Urine is sterile.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urine

But it does stink and I doubt anyone is ever going to be marketing a phone you pee on. It's just sensationalism in the press to get you to read the article. The sad thing though, is that if the chip does come to fruition, that it'll create a false sense of security as there's many STD's that cannot be detected via urine. Hopefully they'll make that abundantly clear for those that buy the future products.
 
I dunno what's more embarrassing, going to the doctor to get checked or getting caught peeing on your phone.
 
Could be useful during a sex scene... "wait baby, show me your phone I need to know something before we start" xD
 
It'd be cool to be able to use it to detect certain diseases.

"Wanna come down for coffee?"
"Wanna pee on my phone first?"
 
It will most probably be a USB device of some sort, perhaps micro. Not too surprised since you can plug in much into those ports - from lamps to vacuum cleaners.

Also this gives UPnP a whole new meaning: Universal Plug and Pee anyone? :D
 
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