Listen to this VERY carefully.
-Learn the basics of C.
-Move on to Java.
(Additionally, it would be VERY desireable for you to learn about relational databases, SQL, and how to use JDBC to use databases in your Java code.)
Sorry Acid, but Visual Basic is pants. C++ is very good, but hard to use well. Java is cross platform, and will do just about anything you want. C will teach you just about everything you need to know to go on to learn C++, Java, Perl, Python, Shell Scipts, C#. Forget about VB, its crappy.
Learning C will be the key to learning lots of other stuff, and will give you the ability to work with other languages without too much hassle. It will teach you all about datatypes, arrays, ifs, for loops, logic statements, with a syntax that you will see repeated over and over and over again in languages like C++, Java, Perl, Python, Shell Scipts, C#.
There is a book called "A book on C" by people called Kelly and Pohl. Buy it and work your way through the exercises.
I was in a position like you several years ago, where I knew I had to learn to program to do some of the things I wanted to do, but I had no idea where to start. I got advice from people who had been into programming for decades - people who taught programming in universites and suchlike. I have just repeated THEIR advice above. It was good advice, believe me. Listen to it.