Rant against potatoes

By Envergure ยท 27 replies
Jun 4, 2007
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  1. Hey, guys.

    We had baked potatoes for dinner tonight. I hate potatoes! They're small and wrinkly and an ugly colour. And they're always served too hot and it burns off your taste buds. But I guess that's not all bad because they taste like eating dirt! Especially the skin. And, as if that's not enough, it's like starchy dirt! They only taste good like French fries, and when they're like that they make you fat! And eating them is about the worst possible use for them. They would make a great building material. And there's as much explosive power two average potatoes as a stick of dynamite! (If you can actually get it to explode.) And if that doesn't suit you, you can make them into paper, too.

    Alright, I think that's about it. I tried to keep bolding to a minimum, but then it wouldn't have been a good rant.

    If you're a potato and I hurt your feelings, watch this video. It's about potatoes too. (Actually potato peelers, so if you're a potato maybe you shouldn't watch it. And it's in French, so unless you're a French fry it might not make sense, but if you do speak French it's funny.)

    You can tell I'm bored, can't you?
  2. raybay

    raybay TS Evangelist Posts: 7,241   +10

    Please don't post any of your other rants, because I don't think I want to know... for instance, Women, Belgian Waffles, Nepalese backpacking food, Fresh cabbage, pinto beans, or pork bellies.
  3. JimShady23

    JimShady23 TS Maniac Posts: 373


    If you are ever stuck in a cold dark place with no food and a bag of potatoes for a week or so you will not starve. The potatoe has every suppliment that you need it them to survive. You could eat potatoes for the rest of your life and have every nutrient that you need.

    Im not saying to try it, but thats what i heard :D
  4. raybay

    raybay TS Evangelist Posts: 7,241   +10

    I think somebody was just trying out their first assignment in freshman english on us...
  5. JimShady23

    JimShady23 TS Maniac Posts: 373


    That could be :D
  6. beef_jerky4104

    beef_jerky4104 Banned Posts: 822

    Thanks for making me hungry. :( Now I need food.
  7. raybay

    raybay TS Evangelist Posts: 7,241   +10

    Envergure, did you want fries with that? Do you promise you don't have burgers and fries at MacDonalds? Those gigantic delicious fries at Kentucky Fried Chicken?
    Then there are those wonderful French red potatoe salads made with wines and wine vinegars?
    Who would wanna be half baked about such a wunnerful food?
  8. beef_jerky4104

    beef_jerky4104 Banned Posts: 822

    This is twice this thread has made me hungry. Now I need more food :(.

    (Yay 700 Posts)
  9. Phantasm66

    Phantasm66 TS Rookie Posts: 5,734   +8

    How about some french fries??? ;)
  10. beef_jerky4104

    beef_jerky4104 Banned Posts: 822

    I really don't know why I keep looking at this thread. This is the third time its made me hungry. Oh well food is one of my best friends anyway :).
  11. CMH

    CMH TechSpot Chancellor Posts: 2,039   +9

    Dinner time.... :D
  12. cfitzarl

    cfitzarl TechSpot Chancellor Posts: 1,975   +9

    I hate any potatoe that isn't fried in grease :D ! Why are the unhealthy foods the best tasting ones :( .
  13. raybay

    raybay TS Evangelist Posts: 7,241   +10

    Live right. Eat right. Die anyway.
    The numbers show that if all people who eat healthy were compared with all the people who don't give a damn, the healthy eaters would live, on average, 11 days longer.
    Are you really willing to avoid french fries and fried potatoes just so you can be miserable for another 11 days?

    The Lord does not subtract from our allotted time, the amount of time we spend eating potatoes.

    Mostly, life lived longer without fried potatoes just seems like a lot longer time... as we are miserable and complaining.
  14. SNGX1275

    SNGX1275 TS Forces Special Posts: 10,742   +421

    Mashed potatos are good, toss on a tiny bit of salt, a lot of pepper, and also some peas and you've got a fine tasting side.

    I like baked potatos a lot more than I used to, pretty much treat them just the same as mashed except without the peas and add butter instead. Sour cream isn't bad either, but putting butter and sour cream sort of negates anything healthy about them.
  15. CCT

    CCT TS Evangelist Posts: 2,653   +6

    Name another food that you can slather in butter and then top with sour cream, bacon bits and chives and call it a 'side dish' to be eaten with any number of tasty fish, fowl or meat dishes.

  16. beef_jerky4104

    beef_jerky4104 Banned Posts: 822

    We used to eat those a lot where can you get them?

    Funny... I'm not hungry... :)
  17. kitty500cat

    kitty500cat TS Evangelist Posts: 2,154   +6

    Butter, seasoned salt and pepper make a good topping too. :)

    I just had them for supper. :D
  18. cfitzarl

    cfitzarl TechSpot Chancellor Posts: 1,975   +9

    I think I'm the one person of mostly Irish Descent who finally breaks the stereotype of the Irish and Potatoes :D ! I only eat french fries, nothing else that has potatoe in it :unch: !
  19. raybay

    raybay TS Evangelist Posts: 7,241   +10

    The real secret to potatoes is to dig them up yourself, then wash them before you eat 'em.
  20. raybay

    raybay TS Evangelist Posts: 7,241   +10

    Of course, when the Irish learn how to make Irish Fries, instead of copying the French... and perhaps discover sour cream...
  21. NetCablesPlus

    NetCablesPlus TS Maniac Posts: 228

    Okay, here goes: About five years ago I went on the Atkins diet and lost 80 pounds (yup, I was seriously overweight back then). Since that time, I have religiously avoided carbs to the extent that I have not eaten a potato, a slice of bread, a slice of pizza, any pasta, or any real dessert item since. I used to miss them, but no longer do. Now, when my wife is baking cookies for the kids and the house fills with the smell from the oven, I do get hungry, but hanker for a piece of cheese or something like that. Have kept the weight off, for the most part, too. Got me off blood pressure and cholesterol medicine, too, despite the scare stories about the Atkins diet and just eating protein. My doctor was originally against me doing it, but having seen the results, now recommends the diet to other patients. Anyway, thought that you would all get a kick out of this story considering the thread...
  22. mopar man

    mopar man TechSpot Ambassador Posts: 1,379

    .. They proved that you can't eat potatoes alone and survive......
  23. chance1138

    chance1138 TS Rookie Posts: 62

    So someone died to prove that? Man, that's above and beyond the call of duty, if you ask me....
  24. raybay

    raybay TS Evangelist Posts: 7,241   +10

    Let the chips fall where they may !

    You just have to keep chipping a way, don't you.

    Then there is the Monster's Mash.
  25. kitty500cat

    kitty500cat TS Evangelist Posts: 2,154   +6

    And let the salt and vinegar rule!

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