Windows Server 2012 Cannot Update: Controlled by Administrator?

We have a server that was put in by a company that likely no longer exists, and may not have even been a legitimate company in the first place. (Server came with the OS installed, but we did not get any documentation on the authenticity of the Windows license, nor is there a sticker on the machine... seems fishy to me.)

The server runs Windows Server 2012.
It will not update, as it says that updates are disabled, and does not allow me to enable them, as they are 'controlled by the administrator'.

What's worse, is that any computers joined to the domain that this server controls, are also plagued by the inability to update.

There appears to be the following problems:
1) Phantom update server - The computers that are members of the domain try and update from some source elsewhere than the regular Windows Update servers from Microsoft.
2) The computers do not let me change update settings if they are joined to the domain. They say the setting is 'controlled by the administrator'.
3) The server will not get updates, as they are disabled, and does not let me enable them because they are 'controlled by the administrator.'

I am the administrator so that doesn't make sense.

I can't seem to figure out why this is the case, as I went into the group policy editor on the server and changed all the Windows Update settings I could find back to 'not configured'.

I restarted the server, and the workstations, and still, I cannot enable updates on the server, nor will the workstations update properly.

Update:
Found some sneaky settings hiding in group policy that were under 'system' instead of the other category I was looking in.

Now it says that the update status is 'download only' in the server manager window that pops up at logon... but if I try and go to the Windows Update settings in the control panel, the window just freezes. :(
 
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